Parents of Children with ADHD Support Group

well, i made it through with my parents after years of struggling. i wont talk about the bad things (i feel its unproductive and R-rated) but i will talk about the good things (the things that WORKED for us) it may be a different story now, but most of my school days consisted of low test grades and under-achievement, there were times i did do well, here is a list of things (that involved my parents' intervention) that worked for me:

- FIRMNESS: i don't think this applies to every child, but i personally responded best when my parents were pretty firm with me. you cant just let a kid do whatever they want. thats something most parents ought to know, but after working at My-Gym Children's Fitness Center for long enough, you'd be amazed

-MAINSTREAMING: its funny how growing up, i had some teachers tell my parents i needed to be in special institutions for gifted children, while others felt i should have been locked up in juvenile detention... some felt i was "learning disabled", while others felt i should have been put in honors programs... some teachers recommended i get disability rights, and others wanted me to skip to the next grade level- no matter what they threw at my parents, my parents wouldn't budge... i think its important to mainstream your child, because if you separate them out from other students too much, you're putting them in an unrealistic environment, so when they get older, they're fucked. i feel a little differently about honors programs and whatnot... my parents actually favored the idea, but when they ran it by me i was like ew, those are for pencil neck Poindexters who deserve to be thrown in lockers and stuffed in trash cans :)

-EXTRA WORK: this worked very well... ask teachers for extra workbooks, activities, projects, and anything else that can be help, for the areas your child struggles in most. i was so impatient during school, that if i didn't udnerstand something, i wouldn't even to look at it. but, as human nature goes, the more i had exposure to it, the more i came to understand it, and like it...

-GIVING ME THE SUMMER BREAK THAT I DESERVE- don't put your child in programs over summer break that you think will help them in school. they tried this on me, and it pissed me off so much i wouldn't talk weeks. also, it interfered with soccer camp- and you should never go there...

-LETTING ME DO MY HOMEWORK THE WAY I WANT TO- my parents used to try and make me turn my music off when i did my work... what they began to realize is that being picky about how i do my work is like waking a sleeping baby... if your kids actually wants to do their work, be thankful and leave them alone. we also came to find that i did my work quite well when i wanted to do it, no matter how i did it

-REMINDING ME OF MY INTELLIGENCE: i cant tell you how many times i felt retarded at school. i didn't really start caring about grades until high school. i went to a pretty tough one, so it was hard... i was worried i would make a GPA that fell below standards for most division 1 soccer schools... my coach even benched me before because of it! that really kicked me in the butt and made me wanna do well! whenever i got really upset, my parents would show me how retarded some of my friends who had straight A's were.. and i found it was kind of true- i don't believe anyone is dumb or anyone is very smart (intelligence doesn't really exist)- everyone is smart at some things and dumb at others. don't let your child think that good grades makes them smart!

-STUDYING IN DIFFERENT LOCATIONS- kids can get bored of their room... i was one of them;being a team athlete for so long, i work best around other people, even if we're not interacting.. nowadays, i am rarely in my room when i study - i live in an apartment full of drunks, and I'm perfectly content with studying in front of the TV with a bunch of people running around all over the place. i've studied in classrooms, libraries, cars, airplanes, buses, outside, inside, you name it! also, if Im in my room studying, I'm often on the internet at the same time- switching back and forth between tasks... and i still make good grades doing this, so anything you hear about "the way study habits ought to be"- just ignore them; they're all myths- your child just has to find what works best for him/her

-NOT WORRYING- few people understand this, but no matter how bad it gets at school, even if you flunk out, you can still be whatever you want to be when you grow up!

well, those are the recommendations i can give... if you have any specific questions about the relationship between me (the ADD/ADHD child) and the parents, Im bound to relate since we've been through it ALL, so feel free to ask!

also, having worked at the children's center for so long, I've witnessed some interesting interactions between kids with ADD/ADHD and their parents. obviously, while at work ,i am not allowed to comment, but wow... do i have a lot to say!