What is Paranoia
Paranoia is a disturbed thought process characterized by excessive anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. Paranoid thinking typically includes persecuto...
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I am terrified to go out in Public
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I finally realized I really am afraid I will "trust" someone and let them into my life and they will hurt or betray me. When I am more fearful, I talk and laugh too much -- I pretend I am friendly, so they will not "attack" me -- say something mean or hurtful. I understand sometimes people are just in a bad mood and are spitting out hurtful words to make people keep their distance. But I don't deserve to be verbally abused just because I am near them. --- But I even fear people who seem to be nice. -- It's like what are they after? When I am nice or polite to strangers, sometimes they turn to me and ask for money. --- I guess what I fear most is that you can not tell a nice person from a manipulative user.
So I stay home 95% of the time. Posted on 09/29/09, 03:09 pm |
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i can definently relate i at the moment have no confidence to go out because of the abuse of my appearance i get all the time i am literally frightened to go out there i need to get over this fear, i am worried if i am out there i am going to get crucified by all so i stay in all the time i have a big problem that needs sorting i need a miracle. 
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I have little panic attacks a lot of the time about this kind of thing, and I DO prefer to stay in more than out, but overall, its been several years of getting worse and worse finding all of this pain and terribleness of getting my heart broken and then turning into a stone and deciding to chop everyone out who is even associated with some part of any heartbreak (friendship, relationship etc.) and then pray they don't come back one way or the other. my boyfriend and i stay in most nights, and when we go out its usually alone or with people we both know, even though ive got my guard up with even my closest friends in fear of them abandoning me :/ its a really difficult process my mind goes through. even my closest friends i need to pick and choose what i talk to them about when im feeling particularly vulnerable. some of it i spew out on DS and some of it i just keep to myself and brood in my alone time. ulch.
on a positive note I'm glad you joined up in this forum, you've been wonderful to read
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