Panic Attacks Support Group

I had an epiphany tonight, or not so much an epiphany as a change in perspective. Just thought I would share for anyone in my situation right now. I've had panic attacks for about 7 going on 8 years now. They have progressively gotten worse over the years, and this year I finally hit a wall. I have not only a panic attack disorder but I also have PTSD. This caused me last year to take an emergency medical leave from school because I was having panic attacks 2 to 3 times a week, leaving me totally exhausted and drugged from the medication I was taking. So I left school last semester and enrolled myself into intense therapy, neuro and biofeedback. Changed my medication that my body was no longer responding to. I finally took some "me" time. I have to say it was the best thing I ever did. I am back at school now. Life is still hard, but at least I'm getting through it. And honestly, I didn't think I would last semester. I felt like I was in the storm that would never end. I feel as if I am finally starting to see the end of the tunnel. I haven't had a panic attack in almost two months now. :)
That being said, I just wanted to point out one more thing. So tonight, I left my therapists office anxious and crying because she had asked me to reflect on an event that is one of the causes of my PTSD. I called one of my best friends back home, and lost it. I was angry and pulling the "why me" card. Telling her that I just wanted to be "normal". After ranting for an hour, and her listening to me. She gave me some input. And then I realized something important.
The truth is, there is no such thing as "normal". Everyone of us is going through a battle. Doesn't matter how big or small. We each have been through something that has changed us. The important thing I learned tonight is that as long as we are there for each other, we will all be ok. Because the truth is, none of us are ever alone. I was so upset all night feeling like I was going to have another panic attack, but my girl understands (having been through some of the same things), and that alone brings me comfort. So to anyone who is frustrated and upset currently, know that even through your pain it will all be ok. Because while it may take time for the storm to pass. You will NEVER be alone. So as my tattoo says "always have hope".
Posted on 11/02/09, 10:11 pm