Panic Attacks Support Group

My life is a mess because of my dad. I will never forgive him for all he has done to me and my family. My dad sexually and emotionally abused me and I'll never forget it, but he did many other things too. He once tried to burn our house down.. He followed my mom and I around a lot and knew every where we were. He often took my mom to court for stupid things because he knew my mom had no money and he did. My parents got divorced when I was 9 and I remember leaving one day in the summer while my dad was a work. My brother, mom and I took what we could in the car a left. We stayed with relatives and then we got a two bedroom (small) apartment for my mom, sister, brother and me. It took us three months until we were back in our house. When I was 11 he took our house away from us. He said if he couldn't live in it neither could we. I stopped seeing my dad when I was 14 and went into my first psychiatric hospital. I spent most of my childhood and early adulthood in and out of mental and medical hospitals because of my dad. I dealt with things by throwing up. I didn't know any other way. There were days we didn't know if I would live to see the next day. I get a lot of panic and anxiety attacks and it's all because of my stupid dad. He is one sick and crazy guy
I dealt with a lot as a child. Things a child shouldn't have had to deal with. My mom was physically abused and I was told that although I don't remember it I saw what happened and it is effecting me in some way. I missed out on most of my childhood. I was sick a lot and got picked on and teased all throughout school. I was in special classes to help me out because of all I was in the hospital and sick a lot. If I didn't have help in school I would have never graduated.
I am so glad I had my mom growing up because without her I wouldn't be where I am today,. My mom never gave up on me and that is one thing that taught me to never give up on myself.
This is just a little about my life. This was hard to write. I'll post more later. Thank you for reading.
Posted on 07/02/09, 03:07 pm