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Tuesday May 21, 2013
Rambling Stories
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Blah...I've been soooo exhausted.
And not to mention soooo irritable. I'm a smoker, so since finding out I was pregnant, I have not had a cigerette and do not plan on it either. But wow, it is SO hard. Especially because I am so stressed out. Phew...so that's that.
Chas comes home tomorrow, THANKFULLY. It's been almost 2 weeks since he left for Florida and I miss him so much...
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2 CommentsAdvertisementdr. told me the side effects from the meds should have faded since i have been taking them for almost 2 yrs. if they get bad enough to go to the er. i guess that is all she can do. so on another area it is making me more depressed because it is a struggle and a source of frustration. why do i feel alone. everyone deserves at least a friend and to be loved i have neither one. not to be wante...1 Recommendation10 CommentsMajor headache all day. Carved a wand. Took a hot to cold shower. Still very tired but wow this headache. My hearts tired, wishing but failing. Haven't cut. Haven't drank.
Anyone whose a cutter/ self injury etc. Have you ever had a scar itch? Three cuts very deep, the scar is high on the skin, and five six weeks later it itches.... ? It's different
Still thinking of the one whose got my spirits s...1 Recommendation1 Commentso once upon a time I had what I call a hero crush on one of my cousins. Its not really a loving desire type of crush. More like an iinfatuation because he didnt make me feel like an outsider and actually spent time with me. Then the day came when we were sitting on grandmas pourch and he said he had to go she his girlfriend. For some reason I got jelious and upset but tried not to show it. It fe...1 Recommendation4 Comments
I feel like I’m lying to everyone, including myself. I wouldn’t ever classify myself as “thin” or even as “normal”. The photo on the left was taken exactly 5 years ago in 2008. I would say I was probably about 200 lbs or above. I don’t think I thought TOO much about my body back then as I started too in 2009/2010. I knew I was overweight and larger than ...1 RecommendationRemember when you were a little kid, and everything was just SO simple.
Summer was about riding bikes, playing with friends, whip out the slip n' slide.
What did everything turn into? Sex and drugs? I NEVER, EVER, would have seen myself here, how I am today. I'm a pothead. I fucking, I fucking took a hardcore drug.. I'm not naming it, but fuck. I know better than not to pop pills. I know what it ...1 RecommendationI am bored and on a manic-ing high right now so my fingers are typing at the speed of light, my mind is racing against them, and my body is humming like it's on adrenaline. I feel wonderful though. I'd rather be having a manic high episode than a manic low. I am wasting some time waiting to calm down a little before I get up and take a shower because I might end up putting on an hour long perform...1 RecommendationI been trying to work the steps super hard I have high anxiety feel like i'm getting worst then better its going to take some time maybe a lot of time !
I hate feeling stuck and relaying on people I know there not always going to be there and need to do things alone just hard very hard!1 Recommendation2 CommentsHello dear readers.
How are you all today?... me i here you ask...I am FUCKING shattered, in my infinite wisdom i agreed to do the doubles run with M...after i had wrote that journal yesterday (to clear things up M is the girl ^^) and as such my feelings have completely been restored...its dead confusing...SOMEONE please help me...paws does not do uncertainty. am now sitting in her bed. while she...1 Recommendation1 CommentHello dear readers
hope you are all OK, Here is the third installment, just want to start off by saying thank you to Wynd and Sweet T for their wonderful help and for sticking by me when i feel like death warmed up, Sending sweet hugs and love your way.
Right so much happens in one night that it is just amazingly stupid! Right so i go to stay at Ms last night. now she invites me round and then as...1 Recommendation2 Comments
