What is Pancreatic Cancer
Pancreatic cancer (also called cancer of the pancreas) is represented by the growth of a malignant tumour within the small pancreas organ. Each year about 31,000 individuals in the...
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"Turning the corner"
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Our oncologist thinks my husband has months to live - but not how many, of course - just that it's months rather than weeks, that he's pretty early on and it won't be right away.
My husband can't believe him. Every little twinge and he's terrified that he's "turning the corner", will soon be bedridden, will soon be gone. I understand that this is human nature and it's hard to think any other way when it's YOU, but it breaks my heart. I can't even reassure him that his doctor has done this for 20 years, had hundreds of patients, will know when things are starting to go downhill, and will tell us honestly (he's always been brutally honest with us). He just "knows" that it's all over with him. This weekend, he had some indigestion, and he was terrified that this was it. I do call hospice & notify his oncologist, so he doesn't have to wait long but will get a qualified medical opinion quickly. Does anybody have any suggestions for this? It seems that he's taking his own pulse (figuratively) nonstop, but what else COULD he really be thinking about? Nothing distracts him for very long. Posted on 11/09/09, 12:11 pm |
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Yep, I have worked with oncology patients for 35 years and really everyone goes thru different feeling..... but really everyone goes through this. I wish I could tell you that it will pass but for some it does not. People go thought phases of anger, grief, denial and sadness etc. Everyone can tell your husband to live each day to its fullest but it is a very scarey thing to be told you have only months to live. Maybe you can get some time off work and go on a little trip with him. Maybe there is something that he really likes to do and he would agree to go away for a brief time. Sometimes once a patient can get out of the house and away for a few days they see that they can still participate in joy full activities. Sounds like your husband is just so afraid right now and he just needs all of your understanding and patience. This is not easy and I will pray for you both. He needs you now more than he will ever need you. Just be there for him and support him as you have been. Bless you both.
Pat 
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Thanks so much, Pat. We did get away this past weekend (I made it happen - made reservations & we had to go or lose the money!) and he had a great time and was happy. Now he's talking about other trips. So your suggestion is excellent and I guess I just have to be the one to keep pushing things.
He had back pain the other day and decided it meant the cancer had spread to his kidneys. His hospice case manager and oncologist both assured him that wasn't true, but he said to me "as far as they know". So his finger is definitely on his own pulse at all times. But yes, distracting him with fun things does seem to help and I'll be doing more of it. Thanks again!
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