Ovarian Cancer Support Group

hi! I'm new and freaked out. I am 37 years old, my only child is my 15 year old stepson that has been mine since he was a year old.
In the last month I found out I am diabetic. Then as I was just barely starting to adapt to that, I find out I have a tumor on my ovary. Then I find out it is possibly ( the doctor said "likely') cancer. Then I find out that there are questionable spots on my other ovary and uterus and the best idea is complete removal of both ovaries, uterus and all.

I am scheduled for surgery at the beginning of next month.

I am scared and freaked out and trying very hard to act normal and okay, but I just want to scream "I am NOT ok!" I am still having trouble dealing with being diabetic. I am not ready for anything else yet. I know I need some help, but I can't seem to find it.

We have been trying for 12 years to get pregnant with out any luck, but 2 miscarriages. I am having trouble accepting that I will never have any children of my own. Yes, I know there is adoption and all of reasons it is a great and fantastic idea, but knowing doesn't stop the hurt inside.

I almost did not post anything here as I read some people stories and saw how much worse some people are and how I might not even have cancer. Then I realized that everyone here has probably been at my point sometime. New, scared, alone and lost.

As you can tell from how much I am writing, I clearly am feeling more than a little self-centered right now. And having a tumor that is pumping tons of extra hormones into my body is probably not helping and making me feel so emotional.

Anyway, writing this down does seem to help, so my thanks to the nice lady who said to start journalling. I forgot your name, but appreciate the advice. I have grabbed an empty spiral notebook from my son's school supplies on the shelf and kidnapped it for my own use.
Posted on 07/05/12, 10:24 pm