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Advice:
help with 6 yr old temper tantrums
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My 6 yr old son will be 7 in 3 months. He was diagnosed with ADHD last year & has been taking Focalin XR. He has been able to focus better in school but his behavior has got worse. He is now in a summer program & every day they say something about his behavior. If he can't get his way or someone tells him "no" he goes into a full out tantrum or "meltdown" crying & being very defiant. He has not been diagnosed with ODD but as his mother & all the information I've read I know he has it. The temper tantrums can also included kicking objects (and people sometimes), hitting, throwing and or knocking things over. His behavior is worse in school although he has trouble at home too. The tantrums always result from frustration, him not being able to get his way or get what he wants. I have tried everything from ignoring, sending to his room, taking away privileges, reward charts. He knows that he shouldn't have a tantrum and what he should do instead when you ask, but he can not apply it when he is in the moment. After he has a tantrum, he's fine & calm. I can't go through another school year with this behavior and the school expecting me to pick him up every time he acts up. My husband works 3rd shift so I feel like I'm all alone. My 5 yr old is starting to also show signs of both ADHD & ODD as well & I'm horrified. Please help!!!
Posted on 06/30/10, 07:49 pm
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Advice:
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Reply #1 - 07/01/10  4:57pm
" Hi there! Boy have we been there - our 5 yr old grandson who lives with us had much the same behavior and we wound up taking him out of Kindergarten last school year. He had not been diagnosed at that time but in May was diagnosed w/ODD. I also knew from what I had researched, that this had to be ODD and was so relieved (believe it or not) for the psychiatrist to do so.

He has been put on medication and is doing much, much better and we will be re-enrolling him in Kindergarten this fall. He will be six but many folks have told us that for boys to be that age it's no big deal and that a lot of parents wait.

For us at least, none of the methods you mentioned worked UNTIL we put him on meds. Things are still rough now but our shrink strongly recommended family therapy as well as individual for him.

I hope things work out better for you and your son real soon. "
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Reply #2 - 07/01/10  6:48pm
" It's great to know that I'm not alone!! I really thought it was something that I was or wasn't doing until I stumbled upon this site. He is going into 1st grade this years & I know they will be more strict about him behavior. His kindergarten teacher was God sent. She had a reward system set up for him & a couple other boys in his class to help with his behavior.

My son is only 42 lbs & will be 7 in Sept. His psychiatrist has him on the lowest dose of Focalin XR 5 mg for the ADHD because he can't afford to lose any weight. Today I got a Homeopathic remedy called Tula Tantrum Tamer. It's suppose to help with the following:

Reduces the frequency and strength of tantrums
Calms and soothes fiery tempers
Reduces frustration and stubbornness
Helps children become more amenable to compromise and discipline

I'm hoping & praying that it will help. It can't hurt I guess since it's all natural. We have an appt 7/06 so hopefully she can diagnose him with ODD & get him on some meds too. Any suggestions on what meds work?? "
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Reply #3 - 07/02/10  3:24pm
" I am going through the same thing with my 6 year old step son. He is actually diagnosed as being ODD with some ADHD features. He is on his fourth medication "Intuniv" which seemed to work for a while in the begining but he is having tantrums at his summer camp now which seem to be even worse than the ones before he was treated. The doctor came up with a token system that he does very well with, like your son he did not respond to reward charts and time outs. He has to earn tokens throughout the day with good behavior and in order to do anything he wants like watch tv, play with toys etc. he has to pay with his tokens. When he throws his temper tantrums (which he still does, we are seing the doctor monday to address that) he gets no tokens for that day and must sit in his room. if you would like to know more about the token system I will gladdly give you more info! "
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Reply #4 - 07/06/10  4:13pm
" @sarahbttncrt I'd love to know more about the token system!! I just got 1-2-3 Magic & The Defiant Child. Almost done with 1-2-3 Magic & I think I can apply the token system to the behavioral management program the book has. Just let me know when you can. I really appreciate the kind words & encouragement from everyone. His doc doesn't seem to have any advise but she did agree that he also has ODD. Thanks again!! "

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