Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group

I understand how OCD effects loved ones, my family atmosphere was terrible because of my OCD effecting them this past year- getting better though- so far! I also understand your need for looking for reassurance- this is something I've done many many times in the past and I just sometimes can't help myself.
But, you should be aware that its all it is- looking for reassurance- if your fammily members and friends cave in to this, they are encouraging your OCD.

My mum has a book called "Loving Someone With OCD" it is a brilliant book for close ones of someone with OCD, maybe have a look for it as I really think it helped my mum and my family.
x

I wanted to send you a HUG, but am so new that I don't know my way around the site yet. I think it is wonderful for you that your OCD is improving!

Looking for reassurance in my family is not one of my obsessions anymore...it causes so much trouble with those who don't understand OCD that I have just given up on that. I do, however, look for reassurance in myself. I ask myself "is this rational to do this?", but I am doing it in about 2 minutes after I told myself it wasn't rational. I surely can identify with you saying that sometimes you just can't help yourself. I feel so out of control with the OCD, starting a task takes energy out of me by thinking of all the things I won't be satisfied with and have to do over. Can you pleas add me as a friend, and if you are willing to do that, if you don't mind, tell me how I can give you a GREAT BIG HUG!! Thanks again.

I know that my OCD has affected my family...not in a serious way, but more like they get really annoyed because of all the weird things I do. If I'm in the kitchen while somebody is stirring something (like pasta, etc.) I start panicking because something in my mind is making me feel like they aren't doing it right and I have to do it myself. Only one of my friends was ever able to stir things while I was in the vicinity. Other things like being in the same room while someone is brushing their hair, teeth, putting on shoes/socks, make me panic because to me it's like they aren't doing it correctly-even though I'm fully aware that there really is no incorrect way to do those things. I have to walk on the left side of people-so that they are on my right.

Like I said, it's usually just annoying to them, and sometimes they joke about it, but I really don't have any advice except trying to get help to overcome it. I can definitely relate to you though :)

Thank you for your input...I can relate to your experiences with OCD. I, too, don't think anyone is doing anything right, except if it is the way I do it. Another thing that I do is have a big glass of water near my food when I eat. I have this obsession that I am going to choke. I also tell others that they are taking too big of pieces of food on their fork for fear they will choke. It is not annoying to me anymore, because I just am used to it, even the rituals i.e., counting how many times I roll my deodorant on and if I lost count, I have to wash over and do it again...I go through a stick of deodorant per month...but others get really upset and sometimes even angry when I express my OCD thoughts and "demands" to them. Trying to overcome this disease is soooo hard, but I overlook it, because my depression and anxiety are much worse. I also have BPD and I haven't cut in about 7 years, but I fear I will go back to doing it. Thank you again for your advice and for caring enough to to reply to me.

I think one of the hardest things for me was when I was so anxious and obsessing, i would shut down and not want to interact much with my family, It was like I had so much on my mind, I could not take others. I do seek reassurances sometimes and drive my spouse nuts with checking, but I have tried to explain my illness and what it is like. Agree with pink watch the reassurances they can be countertherapeutic......

Thank you for your input. The more replies I read the less I feel alone. No matter how much I obsess, it seems the less I can control it. And, the reassurances are worse...especially with others that just can't get a hold of anything you are trying to explain.

Of course this happens. My thing is people having to wait for me, as I "pretend" I "have to do something" so I can finish some stupid "ritual." I have streamlined my OCD so that is not really all that noticeable, but I take a longer time to do some things than it should (like get out the door, I have to check things, I have to count, I have to go through the door until if feels "right" (and it never does) so I count, and pretend I "forgot" something in the house etc.

A close relative of mine has pretty severe OCD. At one time his contamination fear was SO bad that he had TWO town houses, one for people to shower and wash up before seeing him, and one "clean" house for him to live in.

When he moved, he "hired" me to do all his laundry so someone could pack it up to move. I realized after the first load that NONE of the laundry was actually dirty, it was "contaiminated" because someone with a dog had come over, or someone who has been near a pesticide sprayed lawn in the last 10 years had been in the house, or someone had been in a town which had a nuclear reactor recently. So, I simply folded all the clothes, and told him they were "cleaned." He was FINE. Not nice? No, I helped desensitize him. ( I was also very young, but understood OCD, and knew he did NOT have "Enviromental Allergy" at all.)

A few weeks later, I asked if his "Environmental Allergy" was acting up. No, he said, good thing you washed all those contaminated clothes. (he had told me before I did it that they were "worn and dirty" and they weren't.) I waited about a year before I told him, "Except for the first load, I dd nothing but fold those clothes. They were NOT contaminated, if you had been, you would have gotten sick." He was angry, but when a man owns TWO houses, one so people can take showers to he doesn't get "contaminated" and refuses not only to get even a little help, and refuses to admit something is wrong, (ti's always someone else's fault) something has to be done. He got over my "betrayal."

It did help to extinguish SOME but not all of his contamination fears. He sold both houses, and now lives in ONLY one house. He still has severe contamination issues, (people have to enter through a certain door, he won't eat food which was made in a house where ANYTHING he considers "contaminated" resides (anything from a pet animal, to a bottle of bug spray in the garage, to even organic gardening products, to a microwave (YES, a microwave, for some reason he thinks they cause radioactivity.) He returns virtually ALL gifts he receives, because he only has two or three stores he considers "safe" to buy things from. His own family, with the exception of me, stopped seeing him, because his fears caused him to try to control virtually EVERYTHING everyone did. He also has a Personality Disorder (Narcissistic) so it's hard to see what are actual fears, and what are simply Control Strategies. (It is NOT common to have both OCD and a PD, but this gentleman does.)

One of the things I have always done (years ago, so people wouldn't know there was "something wrong" with me) was to try very very very very hard NOT to try to engage other people in my OCD. I do often avoid sick people (usually gastrointestinal problems more than others) but, I do not expect other people to take part in my rituals or issues.

Then, after I started getting therapy, I realized this was a REALLY good strategy to keep the people I love around me. One thing I DO do, because CHOOSING things off of a rack in a store is particularly difficult for me (I CANNOT take the first one, I tell people "I have a germ thing." But, actually, it is that I don't like the number ONE, and usually take the FOURTH thing on the rack........ridiculous, isn't it? I will often ask one of my kids to grab things off the rack or shelf, it doesn't matter which one. It seem "not to matter:" if someone else takes the "wrong number" item. As usual, OCD makes no sense, not even to us, We realize our fears and doubts make no sense, but if we work hard, we can at least "streamline" our unnecessary activities.

Good luck. IMO, getting your family OUT of your rituals ASAP is one of the most important things you can do. This illness sucks, and it sucks a lot more when you are alone. People BURN OUT when forced to do things which make NO sense to them, (and then they start avoiding you) so talk to your therapist about how to NOT get your family and friends into your OCD stuff.

Take care.

I know what you mean about family. i grow up with an OCD brother , and a packrat (other type of OCD , in think). i later formed OCD . but before that . it was hard in my family . it got to the point that my brother was having me open doors for him and Wipe him after the bathroom. that is traumatic for an 7 year old . he was taken by the police for thretening us he stayed in residenchal for 5 year. while i formed OCD , mine was like your i had to wash me hand , be clean .There was a hospiltal that i had to scrub hard to feel clean. i had it bad in elimentery , geting dipretion in higtschool

I have gotten better and so has my brother. we with srtructer and comen rules for our selves have over come most of the compaltions. I still have it , but only a few things i still can't stand.

My mom did cave in for my brother and no longer questions me . but i took the effect to be like ,my brother . No Meds and almost carefree. I'm not sure if no meds would work for you , but finding the reasons to why u may do your ricuals helps. and maby finding a place were the OCD is not as bad , so u can relax alittle.

I'm LD to so i was always watching, people but OCD is the hardesy thing to over come.

keep trying , you can DO IT !!!!!! : )
also I promise to be nice ,so tell me if i said somthing stupid

and parents should love you regardless of OCD, my mom took it head on.and she's doing ok.so your parents should be ok.

I don't think that there are regulations that come with one having OCD...and, all the trying in the world can't stop it for me. Medications I tried didn't work, either. Don't worry about promising to be nice...you are...that is one of the things I do all the time...the "looking for approval" OCD part. I don't know if I will ever stop being this way...it's such a part of my life now that I would probably wonder why I WASN'T DOING THOSE THINGS ANYMORE!! It is one of the toughest problems to overcome!

hi im new on here been looking for advice for my son who is only 9 and has adhd and ocd he is on med for his adhd which is working fine but it don't seem to work for his ocd his hand washing is so bad his hands are bleeding cant seem to get help i need,my next appointment with his speicalist not till end of march can't wait that long x