Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group

I have scary thoughts about hurting those I love. I fear that I'll give in and really hurt them someday. For me I needed to tell them. That way if I'm really freaking out and I get really scared I'll hurt them, the I can just leave or tell them to walk away. It works better at times then others. Hope this helps. If your not in therapy, try CBT.

I had trouble with this too. A therapist I was going to told me to put the thoughts that I wanted to tell my boyfriend (these thoughts would hurt his feelings) and not tell him bc that is giving into the compulsion. I just couldnt deal with that in the beginning and even now I will want to tell him things, but he is good and says, dont. I had to tell him these thoughts, but I wanted to reassure him that these are not wanted. I want them to stop and go away and I can be myself again. Do they have any idea that you have ocd and what do they know about it? Sometimes people dont put the intrusive thoughts with ocd. They may think it is a perfection, contamination, hand washing thing.

Oops. Put the thoughts on a shelf. Getting reassurance helps me to calm down, but in the end I need to be the one to remember the symptoms of ocd and be able to distiguish and trust myself.

a couple years ago, i had really scary violent urges, thoughts, images, etc. it was horrible! and the worst part was that i didn't know i had ocd, and no one knew about my compulsions and thoughts. it was horrible because i had clue i had ocd, i just thoughti actually wanted to hurt people. it got so bad that after 10 years of hiding my pain i told my mom, and then i told some more people, and then i got help from a counsellor. i was so afraid to tell people what i was thinking, for the same reasons as you, and ididn't even have a reason for the thoughts! but...you know what, they accepted it and supported me, without knowing i had ocd. so i think you should tell those you are close to, and let them know that it is a normal symptom of ocd, and maybe get them read some info about it. and if they can't accept it, or try to, then maybe they aren't worth being close to. i hope this helps, and i really think you should tell people while explaining a bit about ocd and that you don't actually want to hurt them. good luck

Thanks for all of your advice. You are all so SWEET! Do you think that my need to confess this to my loved ones (mate) is part of OCD too?

I think your need to confess is probably ocd, but at the same time i think it's important to tell them , but try not to go overboard and feel like you need constant reassurance. that's how i was.

I don't think you have to tell people who are just around you... like at work or just friends. But if it's someone you're getting serious about, then, yeah, you're gonna have to tell them. I'd take them to a therapy session with you and allow the therapist to be there and explain what OCD does and that people with OCD have these thoughts, but don't act on them. In fact, we tend to have thoughts that are anathema to our personalities. But if you just say, "Yeah, babe, every night I think I'm gonna get up and cut your heart out... but don't worry, it's just the OCD talkin'," you're going to scare people away. Or at least give them a good book about OCD to read. Someone other than you explaining what it entails. Hell, I'd freak out if someone had the same thoughts I have sometimes and then told me about them without preparing me. So just prepare the person you're telling.

I have the SAME EXACT problem. It's as if I think the complete opposite thoughts I REALLY feel. That is, I think of hurting those that I love most. It's whacked..like my brain is taunting me to "dare stop thinking these thoughts". It's really messed up and meditative things work, but most often distraction and keeping busy are the most helpful.

I kept my OCD hidden for 10 years because of this exact issue. I also didn't know really what OCD was or that I had, so that made it worse I guess. How on earth do you tell loved ones you have thoughts of hurting them? It's so hard, I know! I told my mom first, and she is one of those people who sweeps things under the rug so to speak. Surprisingly, when I told her, she was very understanding. You never know how people will react, but your loved ones know you best, and you are obviously a good person, so they should understand. If you are really worried, maybe give them some information on OCD obsessions such as violent or sexual ones, and then explain that you are struggling with them as part of your OCD. Best of luck, and remember you are a good person!

I too have had scary thoughts and still do everyday. they brought me to my knees after i had my baby and the thoughts were all about killing her and how much i hated her and horrible things. In actuality, i love and cherish her more than life itself and would never ever do that (as if that even needs to be said to you all!). I've finally learned to deal with it and mostly ignore it. It sucks but what can we do but do our best to manage it. I always say "brain noise" "let the thoughts be there" I defientley told my husband after this happened bc i was losing ita nd had to and it was hard to tell hijm that for years every morning when he left for work that i would say to myslef "bye, i wish you were dead". I never knew about the ocd at this point and i basically just ignored it and secretly on the inside questioned my love for him etc. But when these thoughts started about our baby, thats when all hell broke loose. Anyway, i told my husband and it hurt him bc he doesn't really understand the ocd, but he knows its real from watching me and he knows that is not how i feel in my heart nor anything i would ever do. but just reliving those memories i hate to think about how bad it hurt and scray it was. I want to really talk to my folks about it bc ocd has now become part of who i am and it explains SO much about my life that was always a mystery, like my hypochondria and why i always think the worst and worry, etc. my folks know about it but it doesn't really come up as who wants to talk about your scary thoughts much (outsiders i mean). i say tell whoever you think is really close to you, but as you deal with and accept the thoughts, the need will diminish to tell people bc you will know yourself so well and accept what you deal with as a nuissance. good luck to you!!!!