Obesity Support Group

I have a friend who is over 500 lbs and 21 years old. Recently he started taking walks with his mom. He also is eating salads where his only vegetables in the past was french fries. Its a start.

my parents pushed me and pushed me to be a healthy weight and to be honest it made me mad. And when ever they brought up my weight I binged... i dont know if this is just me or if its the same with other people, but last Christmas my parents were all over me about my weight and I just decided last week that im ready to lose weight. thats how long it took me to feel like its not them im doing it for its me. Any sooner it would have felt like Im doing it all for them. I hope this helps, good luck

I am so pleased to get so many replya and I am taking all of your advice. I really appreciate your wisdom and advice.

I had an after-thought the other day and I realized you probably should make him stay in therapy. A lot of people do not realize how emotionally degrading being obese is to a teenager. He might stay in therapy if you let him pick a therapist he feels comfortable with, you could visit two or three within your budget and let him make the choice.

My comment is coming from a someone who is a daughter to a mom who pushed me to lose weight. I think the thing that kept me from really wanting to do anything was the fact that she was hypocritical. She would tell me to go exercise, while she is on the couch watching TV. There could be many things that underlie this behavior, and I would encourage you to look at all things: psychological, physical, emotional and spiritual and see if there is anything underneath the behavior. In my case there was and by "treating" symptoms not the cause, things never got solved until I dealt with the cause, but not before the relationship between my mother and I was catastrophically damaged. Good luck!

I'm going to be honest, brutally honest. I can COMPLETELY relate to your son, granted my highest weight was 335, but I was wearing a size 24 at the age of 12!! That being said, I think his resistance is that he may feel like you don't love him the way he is, etc, and that everytime you bring up him losing weight, to him, it feels like a personal attack. Now, here comes the brutally honest part...

I'm 23, and I'm now down to about 250ish from the 335lbs. I'm having a VERY difficult time dealing with the fact that my parents didn't do anything more than suggest I lose weight. They didn't get rid of the junk food in the house, they didn't make me drink water instead of sodas, they didn't make me exercise... they didn't do a damn thing other than take me to dietitians but they didn't ENFORCE anything. I'm sorry but if you wait until he is ready to lose weight for himself, he may never do it! (More brutal honesty) This is your fault, just as it was my parents' fault for me getting as big as I did. Granted I was the one who put the food in my mouth, but my parents put the food in the house. What does a child know about a healthy diet and exercise regimen?? NOTHING! Only what the parents teach and provide. You have to not only set the example by exercising with him and providing a healthy diet, YOU HAVE TO ENFORCE IT! (More brutal honesty...) Looking back I really have hard time dealing with the fact that my parents didn't do anything more than what they did. I wish they would have MADE me exercise, even if they had to threaten to ground me for not doing it. I honestly feel like my parents didn't love me enough to tough it out and deal with me not liking the new rules and exercising, and instead just let me eat myself to near death. I feel like because they didn't help me change, I missed out on SO much as a child and teenager and I'm still having a VERY difficult time dealing with it and still have not worked up the courage to confront them about it.... So do the difficult, right thing and MAKE HIM DO IT!

Good luck and I'm here if you need anything :)