Obesity Support Group

not all guys are like that. i met my husband over the internet and im not skinny minny (im a whole lot to love at 337lbs) u just gotta go through the crap to find the right person who doesnt care how much u weigh. dont worry ull find someone, just dont make it the main focus of ur life. let love find you dont chase after it.

Awww honey... your story really touched me. I wish I was there to hug you. I really hate men sometimes...Anyways.. I feel that way sometimes. I am 26 years old and thought for the longest time I will never find anyone because I was "fat" but... when I least expected it someone came into my life.
Honey...I am not the best aty advice or anything like that...but your story touched me and I am there to listen. There is a man out there that is going to love you for you...have HOPE :) he is there...

I have a wonderful husband and when we met I was not a "skinny ninny" either. I also have a sister who is not overweight, and tried to join eharmony and was rejected. So don't think it is your weight. She has not idea why she was rejected either.
Keep your chin up. You will find someone.

Hi soulsearcher (love the name!!),

I can absolutely relate! I often get rejected/looked past by men because I am overweight. It is so disheartening - especially when I see my friends reeling in men no problem!!
That being said, I don't get overlooked by ALL men. Some actually do appreciate me for me, and the way I look.
Maybe girls like you and I may never actually be able to "reel in" men like other ladies (the ones who fit the stereotypical societal role of beautiful), but that surely does not mean we can't attract men at all!

It may take more time, more patience, etc - but it can happen, I assure you. In fact, as people who are sensitive to feeling outcast, etc, we may even be able to attract men who are more sensitive to these things themselves. :)

Also, I can honestly tell you that confidence and self-love has a lot to do with it! I never really believed this growing up (sometimes in my worst moments now I still don't..)
But, as I matured and began to appreciate myself and not care so much about the opinions of others, I noticed that I got more attention from men. The more I liked myself, the more men seemed to like me. Not only that, but when I did get rejected like in the past ...sometimes I DIDN'T attribute it to myself or my body - this was very new, and exciting!
Maybe it DIDN'T actually have to do with my weight, or even me! There are so many other factors at play when it comes to these things - so don't always assume it has to do with one particular thing (i.e your weight) ;)

You are never too big to be loved. Love yourself first, the rest will fall into place. Not to say this is easy - I'm still working on it myself. But I believe it for me, and for you!!

Many hugs for those crappy feelings. I hope you feel much better soon. Treat yourself well always, and best of luck on your life journey!

xo
Kate

AWW SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THAT TRY THE BBW DATING SITES THERE ARE FOLKS WHO LOVE THEM
YOU ARE SPECIAL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY

trust me its not your weight, even when i was thinner guys didnt take an interest in me. so that proves that its not weight that guys go after. even if there are guys like that then you dont want to have anything to do with them anyway. dont worry youll find someone that will accept you for the way you are. i found my boyfriend when i least expected it. wait for it to come to you.

-andrea

I feel that way too, I just try and tell myself that when I find him, he'll so great that he'll be worth the wait.

I think as long as your weight is reasonable it only bugs men if it bugs you and effects how you feel about yourself. But honestly on the on line dating it is used as a screener. A lot of guys prefer slimmer women, or women to whom weight is not a huge issue. But this is because they don't know you. My husband does prefer slimmer women and he is fairly slim. But he loves me deeply and dearly in spite of my weight. And when he asked me to dance I was already overweight and he still asked and fought for my phone number. Granted, that was 50 lbs and 2 kids ago.

It is what he probably likes least about me (my weight), but also what I like least about myself.

You just have to find someone that loves you exactly as you are. No sense pretending, it will all be apparent eventually.

I am starting to work on it though.

There are many MANY women who are not a skinny minny who have found love.

Look, sure, there are guys out there that are shallow enough not to look at an overweight woman. But honestly, would you want a man that is this ignorant in the first place? As an intelligent, emotional, thoughtful woman you deserve someone who will treat you will the respect you deserve.

For a long time I felt really bothered by the men on the street while out walking who would intentionally avoid eye contact with me. I felt saddened and felt like I was so fat/ugly, etc. that I wasn't even worth looking at. Then I put it in a new perspective of why would I want someone like that anyway? And it became funny to me. Almost like, hey that guy is so into himself he thinks that any woman he makes eye contact with will fall madly in love with him. Wierdo.

Try it, it works.

I know this is hard time now, but any man who is TRULY worth your time will love you for you. Period, And he is out there.

I like this discussion post. I wish I had you guys back when I was in my 20s and going through this because the support and the perspective you're providing is really important. I didn't meet the man I eventually married until I did a lot of work on my self esteem and then it was all about what I wanted in a man instead of hoping that someone would want me. I deserved a good man, one who would get to know me as a woman and earn my friendship and love. I became a woman who was OK with being on my own. I met my husband 12 years ago and we'll celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary in January.