Obesity Support Group

I am 18 years old and in September I start university. I weigh roughly 190lbs and I want to get that number down to 140 - 150lbs. I have been trying to lose weight on and off for years. I was emotionally and mentally abused by my sister for the first 16 years of my life. She repeatedly told me that I was stupid, that nobody loved me, that I was worthless and she always put me down about my weight. So for a long time I looked to food. But then due to arguments she left the family and I haven't seen her in a couple of years. After which, I stopped eating a lot of food, my portions definitely reduced, I stopped snacking. And it was then that I realised how severe the situation that I was in with my sister. I didn't need food anymore. However, food is still an issue. My mum stopped working due to health reasons and so she started eating and she gained weight. There is still a lot of fatty foods in my diet that I don't need. My mum still asks me after dinner, 'do you want ice cream?' 'do you want a biscuit?' 'do you want something to eat?' and I always tell her, 'nope, i'm fine, i'm hungry' but she doesn't take no for an answer. And this is my biggest challenge. The amounts of times that I have lost weight because I am exercising and my mum finally agrees to go on a 'healthy eating regime' and then she says the classic line 'we are all allowed a treat once in a while' and then after a week/two weeks I start to put weight back on because both of my parents make me feel guilty about not having that cake, that chocolate bar, that bowl of ice cream and yet I feel more guilty after I have ate it. And when I do decide to have a chocolate bar or a packet of crisps on my own accord they make feel guilty about that too. They tell that I have heart attacks on dad's side and diabetes on my mum's side and that I need to lose the weight and when I do they tell me to eat. I can't win with them.

Exercise has always been my biggest difficulty. My parents aren't sporty and they have never encouraged sport. So I have become quite lazy because of that. I enjoy exercise. I have these dance workout DVD's that I do and I love them. I love the feeling I get. I am a very energetic person. I dance around even when there is no music playing, I am that kind of person. But when I do these DVD's I feel very proud of myself because I very rarely do them so it is a kind of achievement for myself when I turn 'oh I'll do it tommorow' into 'I'm doing this today' and when I tell my parents my dad said 'I don't see why you're doing it, you will just quite tommorow' and when I am still doing it for more than a week my mum begins to roll her eyes and say 'again?' and she tells me 'if you're tired or sore, don't do it'. My parents don't encourage this and so I lose my motivation to exercise. And then when I stop I put the weight back on and I get depressed. And when I get depressed I'll eat.

I don't want to look the way I do when I go to university in September. I have never had a boyfriend because of my lack of confidence and self-esteem. If I lose weight then I know I will be happy and I will have the confidence to go out there and get myself a man! This is why I am here, because I need some support system. I hate it how my mother expects me to support her in her problems and goals but she can't support me with this. This is my life not hers and I am not going to let her make me even more fat. But I can't do this alone. Please, anyone encourage me in my weight loss and I will do my best in encouraging you in yours.
Posted on 04/30/12, 06:28 am