What is Obesity
Obesity is a condition in which the natural energy reserve, stored in the fatty tissue of humans and mammals is increased to a point where it is thought to be a significant risk fa...
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obesity & new friend
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Several weeks ago I met a lovely lady online. She's a single mother in her 20's with one child less than a year old. We have exchanged email almost daily. It was her suggestion that we might like to meet in person.
I had asked her to send a photo (everything on her profiles is head shots) and she got a little huffy about it so I figured she's uncomfortable with her appearance and I thought I was prepared, but she's really morbidly obese. I don't know what, if anything, to say to her about her condition. I want to ask how she feels about herself, if there are medical issues involved, and if she's trying to get to a healthier weight. I'm just at a loss as to the best way to be supportive. [p.s. I wanted to title this thread "The Elephant in the Living Room" but I was pretty sure that would offend someone. For those of you not familiar with the expression, it refers to issues that everyone is aware of and never talks about.] Posted on 06/15/09, 05:06 am |
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you can help her by leaving her alone. you yourself should get some help. 
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I like this conversation. It's an important discussion. I've experienced this myself, and I know many other women and men of all shapes and sizes who have met someone online and have had awkward experiences when they meet in person. It's hard to connect with someone on words and a couple of casual meetings. There has to be chemistry in person - that undeniable attraction. That, and taking time to invest in getting to know someone outside of first impressions and figuring out if you are compatible. Doesn't matter if you're thin, fat, bald, hairy, short, tall, whatever. If you don't think you are into her, then you should be honest about it and move on.
That being said, I have been considered fat, obese, or whatever term was popular at the time, for my entire life. I've had my fair share of rejection from men that I met online and then in person. It would be a polite first round, but then I'd go home feeling like it just wasn't right and that would be the end of it. I met my husband almost 12 years ago on yahoo personals - there were no pictures of either of us before we met in person. We emailed back a forth for a couple of weeks, then spoke on the phone for a week, then met in person. I liked him right away as a person, and took time to get to know each other. The chemistry part was built into the friendship. We've been together ever since. It wasn't about weight. It was about 2 people connecting.
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