Obesity Support Group

When I moved in with my dad and step mom, it was one of the few times in my life that I was thin. My step brother lived with them, so there were 2 teenagers in the house.

To start, they only ate out once a week. It was the only time I was allowed to have sugary drinks. They didn't keep coke in the house, just unsweetened to that I could use with artificial sweetners, sugar free kool-aid and water. Junk food was never brought into the house. There were things to munch on, but they were always healthy: grapes, nutrigrain crackers, etc. I found that I didn't tend to overeat since the snacks were healthy.

Mom made dessert each night, but she didn't make a huge batch. She made just enough that everyone got a serving.

She also took the time to make healthy, low-cal dinners. Some of it was gross, but I knew if I didn't eat then, I wouldn't get a second chance. Plus, they had rule about trying a bite of everything.

My tv time was limited. I could watch tv for about an hour each day. Sometimes two. For half an hour of my tv watching, I had to ride the exercise bike in the living room. (No one had a tv or computer in the bedroom)My brother rode it for the other half hour. My parents rode it when they watched, so this wasn't an attemp to help just me. I also got to join one athletic activity, and I picked a dance-prep course that was part of my high school. My brother played football.

I lived with them for 6 months and had lost 20 pounds by the time I left. It really didn't feel like an effort.

It was a huge change from living with my biological mom. She never cooked. We had fast food most days of the week. I drank a 2 liter of coke a day, and there were always 2 candy bars sitting in the kitchen waiting for me to get home from school.

I think you can slowly change your habits in the house. My parents told me that they were doing all of it because they needed it for themselves from years of bad habits. They were having health problems. While I was a little upset about it, I didn't really think that hard about it as a teen.

You only touched briefly on your daughters eating habits, so it's hard to imagine exactly what they are.

It's never too early to instill healthy eating habits into your kids, even if some may not be overweight, they will thank you later down the road.

Give them healthy snack, ALL of them. Teach them that there are healthy snacks that are tasty too. Every once in a while the sweets of course, but don't isolate your daughter from them, if she's addicted to food already it will only make her want it more, and I think that's cruel honestly.

Be more physical too. Introduce activities to her that will get her more active.

Everyone may need to give a little and support her..but coming from a girl who has been overweight all her life, whos mother gave her cookies, soda, and sweet to make her happy, it will do the complete OPPOSITE of that later.

Goodluck

she was awfully young when these habits started. if you're sure its not a medical or psycological issue then maybe you should sit all the children down individually and have them each plan 1 meal(dinner) for the week. then on that day they have to help make it, even if she picks pizza you can make a healthy whole wheat dough(or even buy it) and use veggies and extra virgin olive oil instead of sauce and cheese. but perhaps by you giving her some control of what she can eat it will slowly help her realize there are healthy alternatives to everything.

Everyone has really good ideas. But, like Kimberly said, it's hard to give advice when you only touched briefly on the subject.

If she helps do the groceries and only wants sweets, soda and salty snacks, then I wouldn't take her to do groceries. If she doesn't help with groceries and you're the one bringing the unhealthy food into the house, you can't place all the blame on her.

Instead of sweets like cakes and cookies, give fruits. Instead of chips and dips give air popped popcorn w/out salt. Don't bring soda into the house and try making an effort to drink more water vs other drinks as a family.

Make sure everyone has a healthy breakfast and pack healthy snacks and lunches for school. Find healthy, low calories and low fat alternatives to favorite family meals. (My favorite site for this is cooking light).

Instead of eating out once a week, limit it to even 2X a month. If you go to the movies, skip over to concessions. If it's too much of a temptation, go to the drive in movies and pack your own dinner and snacks, or rent movies instead.

And then add exercise. Go for hikes and walks. Look up local parks in your area that seem interesting. Go to museums that take a long time to walk through. Even go "shopping" by walking around the mall and just looking at items. Does she like to rollerblade or bike? Does she play a sport in school? Try to encourage these things.

Make lifestyle changes as a family and it will have healthy benefits for everyone.

Hi,
When I was growing up I was an overweight kid and I hated every part of it. I will just stay home an eat everyday. I did not fit in because I was"fat" and kids could be so cruel. I will say encourage her to do some sports. take her out to playgrounds. Take her out to eat at healthy places like subways. I think if you change the way you cook it could help her too, We stop frying food and started baking food. Turkey and chicken, we bake fries and nuggets. lil things like that will make a difference.

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the time that you took to give your advice. We are a blended family and food has really been the only difficult issue. I have always done most of the healthy things suggested and this is nothing that I have ever had to deal with before. Trying to change years of very bad habits has not been met with much enthusiasm but I am going to keep trying. After the first few trips to the grocery store I now go alone and this helps. I am still working on my husband who is doing better. I feel like I am the only one who knows what she has ahead of her if this keeps moving in the wrong direction. POSITIVES...she now has a bike and she rides it and she played Soccor and Basketball this year and lots of kids in the neighborhood keep her playing outside more. Baby steps :)

That's great that you helped her stabilize the weight gain during the time she has lived with you. You said you say no to her and not the other kids, but if you say no to both, then she won't feel singled out. You don't need to give junk food to the other kids either. You will be helping them in the long run too. Don't apply a double standard. Set the same standard for all the kids. She's 9. She'll get used to hearing "no" and she'll keep trying but if you consistently say no, she'll eventruelly stop trying so much. But make treats available perhaps once a week or after dinner and make it in reasonable portions for all the kids to enjoy.

I agree that healthy eating is for everybody. Honestly I can imagine how it would feel when my sibs get a bowl of chips 'n' dip, and I get what? some carrot sticks? I hope that isn't too brutal, I don't mean it to be...just that the message would be hurtful, and actually damaging to everybody. I didn't get the sense that this is happening in your situation...but also little things like encouraging everyone to simply scrape their plates if they're full rather than eating it all can make a difference. Good luck with this.

First of all, it is really important that you don't make her feel adnormal. She is trying to fill a void in her little life and food is doing that for her; just like it does that for us. As far as not being able to keep the junk out of the house, that is a cop-out. You have a serious situation with your daughter and you are responsible to do whatever it takes to handle it. The other children will make it if there is no junk in the house. You will be teaching ALL your children to EAT HEALTHY. Explain to them that things are going to change in the house because EVERYONE NEEDS TO START EATING HEALTHY and they may not take it so bad. And also, try and get the kids moving; take walks, do the WI fit, walk at the mall,do sports, what ever it takes. If your child had cancer, wouldn't you do whatever it took to get him better? Well this can impact his life just as much. Please try and talk to him and find out what it is that he needs emotionally to fill that void in his little heart. It may just be some one-on-one time with a parent or something as easy as finding what he does well and acknowledge it. I'll be praying for your family. Hugs to You!

I appreciate the advice and things are going fairly well. I get the not treating kids different thing but, on this side, it is pretty hard to not let my 6'3 teenage son who is on the swim team and swims every day and is thin that he can't have some chips once and a while. Is it fair to the other 3 kids to limit a reasonable ammount of "junk" when they are active and normal weight..even in the thin side. It seems like learning moderation, even with "junk" is all part of learning how to deal with food. It's out there and I don't want to create problems with kids who don't have any by totally keeping things away from them. I even think that teaching my daughter how to deal with "treats" is part of the deal. Right now we are maintaining the weight and that is okay with me for now. Just don't think that putting the whole family on a diet is the answer. Thanks again for the help and advice :)