Non-hodgkin's Lymphoma Support Group

I was diagnosed in November with stage 3 NHL. It does not mean a death sentence as you would think. I have met a lot of people at M.D. Anderson who were diagnosed with stage 4 originally and have been in remission after treatment for years. Most people do not get diagnosed until a later stage as this cancer just kinda creeps up on you. The treatments are kinda rough, I just finished my second one & have 2 more to go then on to radiation for 30 to 45 days.
Just be there for your friend.Let her be as normal as possible.The one thing I have a hard time with is when I get the "oh pitty" look. A lot of friends have quit coming around since I started looking like "cancer" and that is kinda hard. I really appreciate the ones who treat me like ME.
Don't do a lot of research on this cancer as everyone is different, everyone takes treatments different, there is no open and closed book on this.
Where do you live? where is she going to get treatments? I live outside of houston and go to M.D. Anderson, they are the leaders in Cancer and Cancer research. People come from all over the world to get treated there. If you would like info, let me know.

Best of luck to you and your friend.... talk to God as often as possible.

Hi Jen I was diagnosed in Nov 2000 and as terri said -many people have successful treatment .
My chemo did the trick for me.
But I was very proactive in my treatment and realised early on that (again like terri) that I couldnt have people around that saw me as a victim.
I was sorry to hurt the feelings of some of my friends and family -the ones I asked not to visit me, because I could hear the pity in their voice .One of my sisters cried every time she saw me .
They didnt mean to but they were scared and sorry for me .I wrote letters every week so they didnt feel left out (lol gave me something to do on my tired days )
I focused on being well and whenever I had chemo I visualised it as a cleansing wash that made my cancer disappear. Rather than something that was fighting the cancer. I tried to gentle with myself.

You will help your friend if let her know you support her and remind her that you both have the inner strength to get through it.

It's going to get tough -but you have to be pretty matter of fact about it

Having said all that -I'm sure there will be times when you both share a little weep together and plenty more when you are apart

Good thoughts to you and your friend -she is lucky to have a caring friend like you

Hi Jennmp, I was also diagnosed wih stage 3 NHL in the liver and bones ! The oncologist told me it was relatively easy to get into remission but it was also a good chance that it would come back. I had chemotherapy, lost my hair and was in the hospital twice for low white blood cell count. But they did get it into remision for almost 9 yrs. Stand by your friend and give her any support that she will accept. I will say a prayer for both of you. hugs

Hi Jenmp,
I am sorry to ever hear of anyone else having to go thru this. You are in my prayers. Although it is a scary and it is hard to know what to do, the main thing to always remember is to stay positive and help your freind/sister stay positive. I cannot tell you enough how beneficial it is to surround her in positivity. I think the people that care about me were more afraid than I was, and it was actually harder for me to try to convince them it would be okay than it was to convince myself. I hurt for them more than I did for myself. And although I know it because they cared so much, it still made it harder to keep my sites on my fight. The other people that wrote here are right. It is hard to go thru your fight watching others pity you or cry for you. We have to go an and fight hard and hold onto the strength that we somehow find! This type of cancer is so different for so many people. It can be totally different for others going thru the exact same thing, is what I have found by communicating with members here. I know my worst mistake was to try and research NHL. I learned things that I never wanted to, and in the end never encountered anyways. I scared myself more than anything for nothing!
I was diagnosed with NHL at age 37 in 2006. I had 8 treatments, didn't do radiation (by choice) and I did very well. After my 8 treatments, I continued with a Rituxan treatment for a total of 2 years to keep it in remission, and am feeling pretty well these days. I really was expecting the initial chemo to be bad, and I found, surprisingly that it was not. I never got sick really, and my counts all stayed well. I know it had to do alot with staying strong and positive. I had a wonderful support system that Never let me get down or negative. And I know it made a huge difference!
I know from talking with others too that a hard part of it also is to know you will lose your hair. And at first it was very devastating to me. But as you go thru each new progression of the steps of your fight, you learn to just keep trudging along thru it all, and you find a peace and inner strength you never knew you had. You learn to take each step one at a time and get thru it the best you can.
Never think the worst. You have to beleive that she will be fine, and you have to help her beleive that too. Your mind is a very powerful thing. And you must keep it convinced that it will all be okay. The only thing better that you can do for her is to help keep her smiling! Help her still feel like "her" thru it all.
I have learned that the odds of remission for NHL are with good statistics. And I have been in remission for 2 years now!
I am sure as you walk by her side thru her fight you will both have some hard times and some tears. But do not forget the smiles too. She will always remember those times.
I know that as I look back now. I hardly EVER let myself remember the times I saw my family or friends cry, the times I saw people look at me with pity and knew they were wondering if I'd make it, or the times I was afraid and let myself wonder that also. What stands out to me the most are the loved ones that stayed by my side, good or bad, kept me laughing, and always kept me looking forward. It will always mean the world to me, that they looked at me and saw me...
You are a truly good freind with a huge heart. God Bless you for caring so much to find out what you can do for her. I wish you both the best and will continue to pray for you. You have found a very great site here for the help and advice you will probably contiue to need and ask for. This site is a true gift to anyone that must go thru these times.