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Having a crummy time
My name is Christi Green, and my husband and I hav...
ChristiGreen May 24, 2009
My name is Christi Green, and my husband and I have been married for nearly 8 years. We have 4 wonderful children together that we homeschool. My husband has the same job he has had for the last 3 years. Unfortunately, what he brings in monthly barely pays the space rent and mortgage for the home we live it, but doesn't make much past that. We are in debt and in trouble. I have fibromyalgia a...
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Lost in normalcy
So I've been avoiding coming on here because I...
ScarednLo... May 18, 2009
So I've been avoiding coming on here because I feel weak, my every thought has been aout using. I've started smoking pot again, which helps with my anxiety so much but my parents are against it. They got really upset, which is understandable, and now I'm thinking of moving out. Well they wanted me to move out and then changed their minds, but I'm still thinking of moving. I feel l...
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Friends
So i hung out with my old friend and things proved...
ScarednLo... May 01, 2009
So i hung out with my old friend and things proved to be okay, which is a relief. it was kinda weird at first, because i was so used to hooking him up before and this time we were just hanging out, but he's smart, funny, and a good person to be around. we went to another mutual friends house who is still close with my ex, and it was kinda weird knowing that he still talks to my ex, but he'...
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Misadventures of a lonely...
So things have been ok lately. I've been still...
ScarednLo... Apr 26, 2009
So things have been ok lately. I've been still thinking of my ex but i guess he has found someone new, someone in rehab, a 'rehab romance'. Those never end well, and although i find myself wishing he would email me, i know us not being together is for the best. we would most likely go back to using. i've thought of using speed more than i've thought of using heroin, i've a...
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Tis the season for gettin...
Sunday is my birthday. Another year that has flown...
ScarednLo... Apr 03, 2009
Sunday is my birthday. Another year that has flown by, and i have absolutley nothing to show for it. it's sad to me that i was in this position and i did nothing to better myself. i've been in a slump lately. just depressed i suppose, trying not to think about negative things is hard when my mind is full of them. i'm supposed to be going out to dinner tonight with one of my friends, s...
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Reminiscing
Lately I've just been thinking alot of the day...
ScarednLo... Apr 01, 2009
Lately I've just been thinking alot of the days when I was using. I mainly think of my ex, and how we were constantly using heroin, or using something and how many memories we made all over town. I'm thankful I don't live in that town anymore, because I'm almost positive I would have relapsed by now. I've been thinking of it lately. Hooking up and how I would go about it and h...
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deja vu
Everytime I feel like I'm moving on and not th...
ScarednLo... Mar 30, 2009
Everytime I feel like I'm moving on and not thinking of my ex, something happens. His mom just called asking if i could send his mail to her house and I guess a mutual friend of my brother and my ex has been in contact with him which got me worried because i know this "friend" uses, and he's into opiates. It made me want to talk to my ex and ask "What do you think you'r...
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Art therapy and other adv...
I hung out with a friend last week and had such a ...
ScarednLo... Mar 26, 2009
I hung out with a friend last week and had such a blast. I've known him for 6 years and in the midst of my addiction, I kinda dropped him and started becoming flaky so I could use. I feel grateful he still wants anything to do with me. We talked alot and it felt so good to get things off my chest and have some support other than my parents. My family means everything to me, but sometimes I wa...
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Drug Romance
They say in every relationship, one person loves m...
ScarednLo... Mar 19, 2009
They say in every relationship, one person loves more than the other. They say it's usually 60/40. When drugs are involved, I don't know what the ratio is. One person always loves the drug way more. You loved the drugs way more, most of the time. I have to admit, at times I despised you, I'd rather be high than listen to you. I'd rather be high than be near you. I'd rather be ...
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I did it!
My grandmother came to visit a few days ago from O...
ScarednLo... Mar 18, 2009
My grandmother came to visit a few days ago from Ohio and she wanted to take us all shopping in the city where I used to hook up in. I had severe anxiety the past couple months even thinking about going to this city and I kept avoiding all the opportunities to go, even with my family. My mom kept saying eventually I will have to face this, so while my grandma was visiting, I decided that would be...
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Fickle Fortunes
Fickle Fortunes is from Shakespeare's Romeo an...
ScarednLo... Mar 16, 2009
Fickle Fortunes is from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, it has always been one of my favorite little sayings. I've been wanting to read, but I've been saving to get a new car next month and haven't had the money to spend on new books. I secretly hate how fast I read, cuz I always finish the books within 2 days of getting them, thus being stuck with nothing to read. I try to read s...
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Social Retardation
lately it's been so hard for me to find where ...
ScarednLo... Mar 10, 2009
lately it's been so hard for me to find where i fit in and what to do in social situations. it's like i constantly debate in my head if i should say this or that and how stupid i look or sound. i feel so lonely and sometimes that emptiness that heroin used to fill takes my mind over, i feel like i'll never be able to have happiness. or truly be functional in society. i hung out with m...