I pillow fights too. I find it impossible to get comfortable when I want to sleep. What works for me one night doesn't work for me the next. I've tried a water pillow. They're available on Amazon.com. It's not bad because you can adjust the height by adding or removing water. My trend of the week is to fold a small throw for support and put a down pillow on top. I've been needing the softness of the down as my muscles have been sore to the touch.

I'll be curious if anyone has other advice.

Zingara's suggestions of the water pillow and the down pillow with folded throw sound good to me. This is the pillow I've been using since the car accident: http://www.mycomfortu.com/
I can only sleep on my left side; once in a while I can sleep on my back if the back of my head isn't too sore. So this pillow is great because it keeps me propped up on my side and it's the perfect softness for my neck and face. You can kinda play around with it to make it the right height for your neck.

This is also a good site to look for pillows for a sore neck:
http://www.necksolutions.com/neck-pillow-ratings.html
However, I like my comfort u body pillow mentioned above better than the inflatable pillow that I bought from this site.

One other thing I'd like to add is that at the rehab clinic I attended, the OTs said that pillow height is important. If you're a side sleeper, the area between the shoulders and the head should be filled by the pillow. In other words, the head and spine should be level. The pillow should be pretty high. Back sleepers need a pillow with less height. I'm just passing along what I was taught. Some people in the world sleep on a pile of leaves and they don't have neck pain. Experiment and do what works for you.

I use a neck roll pillow its the only thing that works to support my neck, I sit ontop of another thin pillow, I have the water pillow it use to work with the neck roll then all of a sudden I could not use it. Very hard to sleep with the neck hurting.