Multiple Personalities Support Group

Only you can decide whether or not to stay or go.... BUT, you need to make that choice based on what's best FOR YOU. You cannot hold yourself responsible for his trauma - or what his trauma might cause him to do to himself. That is, unfortunately, a battle he must take the initiative in fighting. Sometimes the best thing we can do for someone, the best way we can show support for them, is to let them figure it out on their own and not be codependently tied into their problems. You can still be supportive even if you don't live with him.

That is a tricky one because it can be very diffiucult to decide, where the line is between being supportive and helpful, and being an enabler. You said that you share a home, and that he tells you to leave your home....is it (rental agreement, or title, etc) in your name or his? whose home was it originally? What kind of violence has he threatened you with? And worse, has he also threatened your life? These are legal issues. Your utmost consideration you need to consider right now, is YOUR SAFETY.
One of his alters, is not actually one of his abusers....but a similar personality his subconscious mind created on his own...he is not posessed by someone else.
How long have you known this person? Do you have a relationship worth salvaging, in your opinion? If he also has bipolar disorder, he needs to be on meds, or he cannot even begin to work on the DID stuff, at least, for very long....I have bipolar too.
You need to be concerned about whether or not YOU will be safe if you leave. You have no idea if he really goes to therapy? If he does, he should have regular weekly appointments, usually on the same day, and at the same time, during the week, at least once a week.
My suggestion is, that you go to your local women's shelter. You are also dealing with another issue here, and perhaps the most important one at this time, and that is, domestic violence. That includes threats....and with out-of-control anger issues, threats inevitably turn into physical violence if not intercepted somehow...you can take my word too, as I have been both the receiver and the (unintentional) giver on that one. People at the women's shelter deal with this kind of stuff every day. They will be able to help you safely leave, if that's what you need to do, and also help you connect with whatever resources you need in order to get and stay safe, as well as begin your life again.

Thank you for replying, i really am grateful to you all for taking that time x

We have a rental home together and are looking at taking on another one and moving out of here. So even though he tells me he doesnt want me anymore he would still consider this, i think its for financial reasons though, as we share the rent.
I just dont know if it is worth salvaging now. It was a lovely relationship four months ago but after this bout of mania i feel to much has been said to ever truely get over and to ever trust again on my side. On his, he is nervous about the next arguement we have and doesnt believe we can not argue. He does not see that it is him who blows things up into massive dramas when really they start off tiny, if i tell him i did not like something he said one of his very angry alters will come out and get nasty and threatening. In the past it was someone else who came out who would cry and call themselves bad names and and face the wall shaking. He agreed to me going to one of his therapy sessions to talk about the missing time he is experiencing as i am more aware than him of how often he goes missing but i dont know if he agreed or one of his alters so we shall wait and see what happens.

Is it usual for you not to know what each other is doing and to not know what discussions have taken place

Amanda,

Honey I know exactly where you are!

And in answer to your last question yes it is very much so the case they don't remember when they dissocate. Even with the violent threats and attempts he has made if I bring them up he doesn't remember.

We have to protect ourselves first and foremost or we won't make it.

Thank you Soss, all i want now is peace and calm, i bet you can relate to that too xxx