Multiple Myeloma Support Group

Well, if you're feeling good then why not explain to your children what is going on? Children are more perceptive than you think-especially at that age. We waited to tell them, but when we did, they pretty much already knew. They are also a terrific source of unconditional love which is a reflection on everything you've done for them. Besides, is your lying to them anymore right than them lying to you? That's just my opinion but if it was my father or mother, I would want to know.

My children were a bit older than yours, and my grandchildren a bit younger, but we decided to tell them all at the time. In retrospect I probably would not have been as direct with all of them, because we were anticiipating DEATH and as you can see, I'm still here 6 years later!! If you can explain Multiple Myeloma, not focusing on dying but on all of the new treatments that are now available that you will be trying until you find the treatment that works the best for you, then that's how I'd go with it if I had my time again.
After all, as you go through various treatments they will watch you endure side effects, infections, transfusions, bruising, lack of energy -- the works and they will know that you are SICK! Letting them be a part of the process will help them - and YOU - to LIVE WITH MYELOMA. Best wishes, you are at the start of a very long journey....don't focus on dying, but on living. But make sure that you do take time to smell the roses and LIVE each day to the fullest, making sure that you never miss an opportunity to tell your loved ones how much you love and care for them and to thank them for all that they do to make your life a bit easier. They will appreciate your honesty at their ages -- rather than being kept in the dark and living in a home of secrets. Take good care, stay as healthy as possible, Cheers, Cath

thanks for the nice post. I like your tact. I am not wanting to tell anybody, because my only symptom so far is that I cannot speak much (they are looking for signs of amyloidosis in my vocal cords). So my wife would be "stuck" talking to everybody about my condition etc.
But I think we will let our children know soon. Thanks again.

well, I'm glad. But Poppy Cath is so right. Please be sure to let them know that this is not a death sentence and they need not be on alert all the time. Just explain that there will be times when you'll need them to pitch in. It will help them to feel like they can do something. At least, that's the reaction we got with the kids. They're awesome....Best wishes, Sarah

The kids are already stepping up to the plate. They are really nice about not being able to hear me sometimes. Adults usually cringe when they hear me speak, so I've become really good at texting. I'll find out next week if the voice thing is related. If not, then I'll have hiatal hernia surgery. I never thought I'd look forward to being told I need an operation!
Have a nice weekend.
ps. How old are your children?

Oh, I'm so glad. I hope that it helps a lot. But I know that children can be so resilient. They feel important when they can help. At least that's how my children are. They are 20, 15,13 b,g,b. My daughter though can be quite a nag. Lol. But they are a great source of love and support if you let them.

Hi to you all-
Can I offer a response as a daughter who lost her her mother to MM? I will first say I wish you all the best with your battle & I send nothing but good vibes your way!
I understand that your children are much younger than I was when I found out my mother was sick,(It was right after my 28th birthday),but had she not told me and waited I would have pretty much already known as SarahStarfish stated might happen.
You will realize that the kids will want to be with you every step of the way. It meant the world to me to know I could be there for my mother when she needed me,(sometimes maybe when she didn't..HAHA!),but none the less knowing was the most important thing.
I hope you are still feeling well & I wish you the best.

My dad is still afraid of openly discuss about his MM with friends, since he is walking with a cane, all his friends think he has a stroke. We just go along with that, it makes him feel more comfortable and less complicate. Why not?

Well, but is he keeping this from his children? Or is it just friends? I think keeping it from his children isn't really a great route. Kids just seem to know these things. Friends don't always pick this kind of thing up and if he doesn't want to share his personal info, then there really isn't an issue, in my opinion. BUt that's all this is, my opinion. He has to do what he feels is right. No right or wrong for me. Only a select few of our friends know about my husband's MM.