Multiple Myeloma Support Group

Hun, be strong. I am sure he is only worried about his illness and he thinks by pushing you away he is helping you. I think this comes from him feeling helpless to control the disease and what it is doing to his and your life. Be patient, humor him and just continue with the love and nurturing as you have been.

Kris xx

What Kris says x's 2.
I can not know what's going through Dave's mind, but having gone through the sct myself I can understand where he is coming from.

I didn't want my bride hovering over me and I don't know why, but I was glad she was there if I needed her.

Hang in there

fritz

I didn't want a lot of visitors when I was in for my sct. I knew I wouldn't feel well, and I knew I would probably look like hell, so I didn't want a bunch of people coming in and telling me how good I looked. (you can always tell when they're lying). I didn't want my wife there everyday because she had to keep on working and it was a pretty good trek from our house to the hospital. Trust me, you don't know how he feels. Only those going through it really know. Try to be patient with him.

ty for your understanding.. and I don't know exactly what or how he's feeling,,but after 14yrs. together I think I know him pretty well... I know that no one wants anyone to see them sick especially if their nauseated ..and just plain weak.... and ect...that's understandable but being his wife I would not expect to stay away.. we have our business that I will be taking care of which is only 20 minutes from the hospital...and I don't hover knowing he never did like that stuff..my whole thing was his attitude change at home...

Just wanted to write to your posting. I have been diagnosed with MM as well (Oct. 2012). I don't write on this usually but I do read a lot of what people write. I just wanted to write you to let you know that I totally understand how your husband feels. I just got my hickmen line in and am waiting for the call to say they have a bed for my sct. The closer your husband gets to the transplant part he is feeling scared, lonely, helpless and out of control. He is probably worried about what is going to happen both at home and while he is in hospital. He is probably worried about you and your children (if you have some). He is worried about a lot of things and doesn't know how to deal with everything finally coming to a head. It is a scary time for us sct people. I am scared right now to. I am sure that it is just hard to deal with all the emotion that he is feeling and going through right now. I know some days are very hard for me as well. Just remember that he needs you now more than ever. Just go with it. He will come around. You always take your emotions out on the person you are closest to. I hope all goes well with his transplant and wish only good things for you both.

This is a scary thing to be going through. I always say that my whole life changed in one day when I was diagnosed. I never went back to work. My new job was visits to the doctor and trying to keep my bloodwork and medications on time. As a Christian, my faith in Christ has really helped me through all of this. I don't know how people who don't have anything to believe in handle life with all of these challenges. My faith has especially helped me deal with the issue of my own mortality.

ty JBrown... yes he is worried about a lot of things.. home.. our business is the main worry for him and he says he is anxious..you said a lot of what he's thinking.. I do support him 100%...I have learned to just walk away into another room and let him be...he eventually comes around..I know he's handling this a lot better than I could ever...hope all goes well for you..

Rich..yes both of our lives changed in that one minute that it took to tell him that he had cancer... I am the one that keeps up with the dr. appts..and the running bacck and forth for his meds and all the phone calls abd our business..although he does take care of that.. I want him to concentrate on one thing..getting better..like anyone else who has ever had cancer..it is a slap in the face when you find out...especially when you were never sick before... and then you begin to lead the cancer lives... I am a Catholic and I do pray.. good luck to you.. sorry you aren't working..I thank God my husband can still go back & forth to work...It keeps his mind occupied for that time..on things other then the MM

You are a Catholic girl? While you offer comfort and solace your husband, allow our Holy Mother to hold you in her tender arms ...