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Tuesday May 21, 2013
Painful Stories
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I am upset and disappointed with myself! I used my pain, which is vast, as an excuse to do something that was wrong. I forgot that I took away my permission to do wrong things.
In 2008 when I did the worst thing I ever did, I suffered immense guilt and pain. I have never done that particular wrong thing again, but being involved with a married man is also quite wrong. And,...
1 Recommendation
5 CommentsAdvertisementWhat it is like to be the Other Woman when you don't want to be the Other Woman
Wednesday, March 6, 2013 |
by: TantricGo...
I am going to make a series of journal entries that I hope will help people understand what The Other Woman goes through when she is essentially a good person, and was led to believe by a mm that he fully intended to leave his wife since long before they ever met. And she is hurting from decades of a now ending emotionally and sexually abusive marriage.
Right now I am weak. This is th...1 Recommendation5 CommentsI am not used to feeling that way. Like I am pointless. Not even me when I am weak. I pray a lot, and I mean a lot. This afternoon, I was weeping and praying and told The Goddess that I was weak, and She told me that it's OK to be weak. And I said No, it is not OK for me.
I'm struggling to do the right thing when I am weak, sad, hurting, downcast. I am fa...1 Recommendation5 Comments
The world of the abused, sad, miserable. Right now feeling suicidal. But will hang on and instead blog about one of the least talked about, but one of the worst things abusers do to their victims. I am referring to Crazy-Making Behaviors. By that I mean is things that abusers do that make no sense.
Here Are Examples:
Conversation with my abuser:
Him To Me:&nbs...1 RecommendationSo, the medication which KEEPS ME ALIVE (Otherwise brain death occurs after several seizures) is now banned in my state. WHY? Because ass-hole drug dealers ruined it for those who NEED the pills for pain, life, etc., not just a high. So NOW guess what usa government? I have to rely on street drugs. THANK YOU. Your plans fall flat on their asses, and then...1 RecommendationMy Life Has Been Getting To Me Lately
I Was In Deep Despair
Now I'm Mad
But That Is Irrelevant To My Apologizing To You, Elizabeth
So, Yet Again
I Ask For Divine Help
So That I May Be Humble
Full Of Sincere Regret
Listened To Quan Yin Pusa
Wasn't Much Help
So....
Only One More Thing
Sarah
Ave Maria
And If The Instant Tears I Shed
Ave Maria
Quan Yin Pusa
I AM SORRY ELIZABETH
SO i GUESS i AM SUFFER...1 RecommendationI am sorry for whining, but I am damn tired of one bad thing after another happening, and when something good happens, it never lasts. And none of the bad things are my fault. Being abused, broke, and disabled are not my fault and are not fixable. Because if they were I would fix them!
I'm mostly sad, but also mad!1 RecommendationI refuse to do the self-pity, poor me, dance. But why is Karma kicking me in the butt quite so much?
I am having emotional difficulty giving support on CA to a man who is truly remorseful and is trying to make it up to his wife. And I care about him. I make suggestions, but am reminded of what X did not do, and I feel sad, miserable!
I weep! I weep for might have been!1 RecommendationI WEPT TODAY
WEPT BECAUSE OF WHAT MY SERIAL CHEATER ABUSIVE X DID TO ME IN 2008
AND I HELPED SOMEONE TO CHEAT ON YOU
SO MY TEARS ARE NOW SHED FOR US BOTH
QUAN YIN PUSA
QUAN YIN PUSA
QUAN YIN PUSA
AVE MARIA
AVE MARIA
AVE MARIA
IS WHERE I MUST GO WHEN MY PAIN IS SEVERE
WHEN DEEP PAIN FROM PAST COMBINES WITH THE PAIN I FEEL FROM MY RECENT WRONGS
I SAY UNTO TO THEE, SWEET SISTER ELIZABETH THAT I AM S...1 RecommendationToday is odd...
Today Is Sad...
Yet, I am still sorry
Still remorseful
today is hunched over
tonight i will probably cry myself to sleep1 Recommendation
