Motherless Children Support Group

Hi,

No, I didn't go through the same thing and I don't identify, but I just wanted to show my support and let you know that I care. I'm sorry you never got to know your mom. Missing a mother is not just missing the person, but everything she represented - unconditional love, care, warmth, guidance, friendship. That is what you've missed out on and although I got mine for 29 years before losing her suddenly, that is where I connect with you.

Take care sweetheart, we're here for you...

Sounds like you do identify, re: missing everything a mother represents. Thanks for your kind words.

KRising - I identify with so much of what you say. i had my mother for the first 16 years and lost her very suddenly. i too feel like i never truly learnt to be a woman. at 36, my longest relationship has been 9months. i don't know if i have what it takes to be a mother myself if i can't even connect with someone long enough to build something lasting. i know so well the feeling of not being a whole person. if you can afford therapy (i can't) please do this for yourself. i know that if i did not have my sister to talk to i would be even more of a basket case than i am. ask your dad to help pay for it if you can. don't wait, hoping you can get through this by yourself. at 36, i probably will never have my own family and i feel that my life is a waste. if you can find ways to heal yourself, become whole enough to connect with someone to have your own family with, don't hesitate. sending you love and strength.

hi i went into foster care at nine ive never really known my mother shes abusive and unwell it does hurt and feels empty not having a mum round im here if you ever want to talk

I'm glad you're ready to share your story. That's a great first step. I can't relate, as far as losing your mother. My mother is alive, although she is dying from her alcoholism. I cut her out of my life ten years ago, although, in my own opinion, I never really had a mother. That's where I can relate. There was no mother-daughter bonding. There was no learning anything from my mother, except the kind of person I DIDN'T want to be. Yes, her body was physically there, but trust me, her mind was not.
I agree, that if you are able to get counselling, it's a must. It has saved my life. It's not a cure all, but it helps to talk to someone and share your experiences, and it helps to learn coping techniques. I wish you the best, and we are all hear to listen whenever you need.

can relate in a way... I never knew my grandfather... I wished I did though he died when my mum was 12. I do wish I could have that relationship. The only I will ever have is a photo. In terms of being a girl. I always had troubles with being girly I have total hair loss due to an auto immune condition.And I will never be able to have a full head of hair. It hit my confidence in many ways and I feel like its not fair.These days I don't think about it as much! I am beautiful me without the girlyness that other people have.I think it makes me unique.

I'm glad you are ready to reach out. I can definitely relate to never learning to be a girl. or feeling whole. My mother left me when i was three. and although she is alive, and i am able to contact her, she is not and will never be the mother that i needed, or the one that i still want. Everyday I miss the idea of her. I have my own kids now and have been seeing a therapist for a long while, but this feeling of empty lonely sadness creeps around and rears its ugly head sometimes anyways.
I am tremendously sorry for your loss. Can you talk to anyone in your family about your mother? can they help you to learn about her through memories?