Motherless Children Support Group

My mom is alive and yet we have been estranged for years.

My father was very abusive and my mom never stood up for me or protected me in that environment even though she knew what was going on. I have such a huge anger and hurt about that now that I'm an adult. My mom is not able to own her actions and thinks that I should just leave all of this in the past.

I have for all my life ached to have a mother, it seems like this endless search i have been on for my whole life. to find someone that will love me unconditonally in the way it seems all my friends and everyone else around me has.I have a lot of really y great friends and yet I often feel like an orphan.

I am now 31 and one of my very dearest best friends is someone that I considered to be a 'mother figure" to me for awhile. She was honest with me and said she wants to be my friend not my mother. she said she doesn;t want to hurt me but she feels that my mother is getting in the way of her and I being as close as we can as friends. I understand this on some level but I wonder if I will ever outgrow this terrible void, this immensse pain that not having that nurturing loving relatioship feels like it has left me with. I feel stuck right now and yet also wanting to do the work to try and heal. It is hard to talk about this as my mother is alive so I'm not sure if anyone else can relate to this. Emotionally my mom was absent and very neglectful of my needs all my life. It was as if I was invisible.

I have felt for years and years that if I had one wish it would be to have a mom who loved me. The pain seems to get worse and worse and i need some support. thank you, nikki
Posted on 10/13/09, 08:10 pm