Miscarriage Support Group

I understand in some way how you feel...every situation is different but I do understand. My husband and I have lost our first two babies...our first a month before our first anniversary and the second about two months after. Both of my miscarriages were different than yours though...we learned of our first miscarriage when we went in for my 10 week check-up and the doctor couldn't find aheart beat. (Even though we'd already seen it 2 weeks before.) The same happened with our second baby but at 8 and a half weeks. Both times to make sure they checked my progesterone and hcg levels...which, like you, showed that they were dropping. I had a D&C with my first and my second I decided to let it happen naturally...and both ways are difficult. I ended up waiting 3 weeks for my miscarriage to happen naturally...which only happened 2 weeks ago. Like you both times I found out we'd had a miscarriage I didn't cry...it was when I got home that I really cried...though with our second miscarriage I didn't really break down until a few days later. I know you feel so hollow and like you have never been so low in your life...I still feel that way...but I've learned to rely more on my husband and I don't know if you are a religious person... but also in God. Sometimes when I was alone and I would feel so low and incredibly lonely...I would turn to God. You may not feel back to normal any time soon...every woman has their own time table as to when they will go through grieving. The one thing I cannot stress enough is that you need to give yourself time to grief - even if people think you should be over it - give yourself time. One day you will find that you can accept what has happened though you will still miss your baby...and you will probably feel sad sometimes as well. Don't give up! Right now you feel like you are crying all the time and that is actually good for you to be doing that...it means that you are grieving. Let yourself grieve. You lost your baby. You also have done something that will help - you've joined a support group. I wish I had when I'd had my first miscarriage. Make sure you continue to talk about how you feel...and make sure to take time for you. And know that you have friends. We are here for you!

I don't necessarily have advice on helping you to move on from this, though I do think that the support group is a great step to make. I miscarried last Monday and had a D & C the next day. Each day has gotten better and I've learned that it helps to talk with others who have gone through the same thing. I am so sorry for your loss.

The best advice I have is to take your time. Don't feel that you should be over it right away, journal, watch funny movies, rest and realize that as impossible as it sounds it does get better. I'm now a few months away from my miscarriage and am starting the process of trying soon. It's not be an easy few months but every week it does get easier. Just like any greiving process it takes time.

I am really sorry to hear about your loss. I had a m/c a few weeks ago with my first pregnancy as well. I had a similar reaction after learning the news, mostly I think because I was recovering from the physical pain. Once I got over that, I was devastated. All I can tell is that is does get better with time, and after a few weeks, I am doing much better. I still have times of sadness and crying spells, but overall things are better. I think that going on this site and sharing your story, as well as reading other people's stories, is very helpful so you know you are not alone in going through all of this. Also, I am going to see a counselor, which I think will help as well. I wish you the best of luck.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my first pregnancy a few months ago as well. I think that if you loose your first pregnancy it is especially devastating because you have no other children to comfort you a little bit (though any loss is devastating). It took me a really long time to feel "better". It is difficult to accept that you the life that you planned may not happen the way you thought it would, and that pregnancy would and childbearing would not necessarily come as easily as I thought it was going to to. I wish that I had sought out support groups like this one much sooner than I did, it definitely helps to talk with other women who have similar feelings. I also did a lot of talking to family members who did not mind me venting and yelling my frustration and anger and my sadness. Sometimes you just have to keep talking until your mind can grasp what is going on. Hugs!

What Devorahna said. Put my thoughts into words beautifully :)

I'm so sorry for all your losses.
Mine was way back in 2007 and I can honestly say that time eases the grief. It was my first pregnancy and I was told that it's important not to get pregnant again too quickly and 'replace' the baby you lost. But for me trying to get pregnant again really helped too. It's different for everyone but on here you can hear everyone's situations and see that you're not alone.

You need to give yourself time to grieve. I have had two miscarriages; my second one was three weeks ago. My first miscarriage was almost identical to your situation; I just knew that I was losing the baby and I could not do anything about it. This second miscarriage has been harder for me to move passed than my first one. I see women who are pregnant and parents playing with their children and I get jealous of them and wonder why I can't have a baby. Certain things trigger me and I just become emotional but that is normal. There are close family members and friends that I talk to. I just read this great book called Preventing Miscarriage and it gave me a lot of hope. I really wish you luck and it is okay to cry; I took a week off of work to let myself grieve.

This process... And it is a process... Is different for everyone. I have had three miscarriages... My first was heterotopic twins (one in the uterus and one in the tube)... My second was at twelve weeks after seeing a hb with a normal baby at eight. My third was the same as my second and that was four months ago. Some days I am all right and some days I am not. I felt bad for feeling bad for a while and everyone kept telling me... Well you should be over it by now your hormone levels are normal. I can tell ya it had nothing to do with hormones... It is definitely a broken heart. When you hear that you are pregnant you seem to be filled with hope for what your life and this baby will become and I think that I grieve a lite everyday for the loss of that hope. Things do get better in time... But the pain and memory of this baby never goes away. Please take care and thanks for sharing your story.

I had the same exact thing happen to me, my husband and I got married last sept, and at the beginning of Nov, I found out I was preg, same thing that happened to you, mine was all natural as well. I too had the delayed reaction. My husband ended up coming home from work early a few days later because I was just *that* bad. you will really go threw a whirlwind of emotions before you come to peace with it. Its now been a year for me since mine happened, and I came to peace with it about 4-5 months ago. It was not easy, but I know my child is up in Heaven. I know, that doesn't make that any easier now, but, I will pray for you. Stay strong.