What is Military Families
Today's military family faces a lifestyle that is comprised of frequent deployments, which results in increased family separations. This often proves to be a stressful challenge fo...
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Okay, so I'm new to this whole forum/discussion thing but I'm not sure where else to find help, answers and strength.
My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years now and fortunately, I haven't had to live through a deployment. We got together pretty close to him getting out; however, I've still dealt with a lot of Marine Corps issues. He came home in April '09, lived with me for awhile and then after four months he moved back in with his parents telling me that we're moving too fast and seeing too much of each other. I totally understood and let things happen as he chose. Him living with me was all his decision, never once my idea or pushed upon by me. Well now, his buddies are all coming home and I'm seeing less and less of him. Long story short, he ended up breaking up with me because he said he's dealing with his own "demons" if you will and he thought it would be for the best. We ended up talking things out within a month and getting back together. He is finally seeking professional help from the VA about his depression and what not; however, sometimes I have a hard time grasping things and dealing with the frustration of hardly seeing him. I know I don't understand the "brotherhood" that comes along with being in the military but I thought he understood I was always there for him. Now he is talking about doing contract work and deploying about 6 months out of the year. How is putting himself back in that situation going to help him any...and not only him but what about me? And our relationship? If we're not 100% strong before he leaves I'm afraid it's not going to work. I've done everything I can to make everything strong and great.. but there's only so much I can do? Any advice from girlfriends/fiancees who's loves have been home for awhile? What did you go through and what did you do to get through it? Posted on 11/06/09, 02:11 pm |
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Im sorry I dont have any answers. My husband and I are new to deployments and such. We weathered threw bsic and now he is in navada for training for 2 and a half months. We are facing deployment late next year and we both worry about it. But we have a strong base to work from.
I just wanted to let you know your not alone and Im sure some one here will be able to ive you some enlightenment 
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Thank you - I definitely appreciate your response. It's just hard for me to find my close friends to relate because none of them are in military relationships.
You just have to believe.. and stay strong. Keep busy and lean on the people around you.
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Good morning,
I may not be of much help either but at least I can let you know you're not alone. I've been married to my Sailor for around 2 1/2 years now and I haven't been thru deployment either. Last year I was living with my father in New England (my husband separated from me after only about 5 months of marriage...) and I was getting ready to come back here. I called him one night because a dear family member of mine had passed away. His response was "well I'll have to call you back..."so-and-so" got home from deployment today and we're out'. No telling me he was sorry or even taking 5 minutes for me. Since I've moved back I've tried to get used to this, the Navy always coming first and all that stuff and I realize he's 10 years into the Navy and only a few years into me but it does hurt nonetheless. It makes me feel like I don't matter and when I bring it up it upsets him. I'm worried about deployment next year as well. I think my point is that, I don't think they mean to do these things...I think they are used to a certain way of life and no matter how much they love us, something will always come before us. I guess that's why my parents warned me that I had better be strong before I decided to become a military wife. As far as him putting himself back in that same situation by doing contract work, my father (who is a Desert Storm Vet) says alot of his friends just feel the need to do what they know how to do, and they don't look at the consequences or, if they do, they still feel compelled to honor thier country no matter what the cost. I hope this might help and not bring you down but I've learned that honesty is the best way to deal with these things instead of sugar coating them. God bless you and I hope things work for you, Chelsey Ann
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