What is Military Families
Today's military family faces a lifestyle that is comprised of frequent deployments, which results in increased family separations. This often proves to be a stressful challenge fo...
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Hello, I want to tell my story, I need anyone to tell me if they went through this and what I can do to solve it. So, my husband and I just moved into Military housing on base and we are having a friend and his new wife stay with us temporarily. We opened our house to them so they could save some money rather than paying a lot for a hotel/on base lodge. I don't thinnk it's allowed but it's soo expensive to have them pay out of pocket. Anyway, the guy is a good friend and I just met the wife who is very clean and cooks occasionally. There are no hygiene problems or "space" problems. Everything was great until this weekend. She has a very high-pitched LOUD voice at times and I have incredible patience but she doesn't. Well every weekend we have all our friends over and it gets rowdy. Everyone drinks and has a great time, we are all blowing off steam from the 5day work week. Everyone stays from Friday til Sunday night [they literally just left]. So my female guest left for a drive this morning because she said the boys were too loud. I totally agree but I just walk the dog and as long as they aren't breaking anything, they don't bother me.
So my guest comes home after she leaves in a huff. She comes back and is LOUD and says to all that can hear that we are all lazy drunks. She says that next weekend everyone must get out and do something with themselves rather than laying around. Oh, she was yelling at everyone this morning at 7am to clean up their messes. Yes they do make a mess but I know from experience that they clean up eventually. It takes a little bit but it does get done. I don't fight them to do it because I know what it feels like to wake up drunk and be too tired to clean. Like I said, as long as nothing is broken, I can wait for the dishes to get done. Well this didn't sit right with my female house guest. She told everyone that there needs to be some rules in the house and they shouldn't be such bums. She wants to set ground rules. Uhm? Am I off the wall in saying that this is my house and if she doesn't like the way things run then get out!? I mean I welcomed her here to help her but she feels like things need to be changed. I am not a slob, I do keep my house tidy but not to her standards. Whatever her standards are. What do I do? I am not confrontational but I do not like to be walked all over. I really just want to tell her to get out if she don't like the way I do things. :P Any advice in dealing with her would be spectacular. Thanks to anyone that read this long ordeal. Posted on 09/28/09, 01:09 am |
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Yeah, tell her to shut the fuck up! What you and your husband decide to do on the weekend is YOUR decision. If you open your home to your friends to have a loud, drunken bender, so be it! If you were to ask me, she has no room to talk. She shouldn't bitch period. Secondly, good for you guys. Why? B/c all those drunk bums are at YOUR house and SAFE! And I would talk to her! I'd tell her if you wanted ground rules, you would have made them already. If she doesn't like it, show her the door! Tell her it's not her position to make the rules in YOUR home. Sorry, but she should shut the fuck up and be thankful you are helping them out w/ allowing them to stay w/ you. Girl, I am pissed for you. I would've punched her in the face!!! I don't like when people try telling me what to do, never the less, my house guests!!! 
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I've had this happen, though not quite to the extreme you are talking about. When I first moved here and got married my husband and I had a much bigger apartment and a roommate (and that was ok with me, he was very nice and being in the Navy he was gone almost as much as my husband as they were in the same command). A nice young woman started staying on weekends and that was fine because it gave me someone to talk to...well, the weekends turned into all the time...she started getting bossy, the whole thing. She was sort of the opposite though of your guest. She would leave everything a mess and tell me and my husband that I was too much of a 'neat freak' and that it bothered her. We had discussion after discussion finally leading up to me writing a list of house rules that she agreed to...it still went on and on. In the end, the only thing we could do was kick her out. I was newly married, still trying to figure out military life and adjusting to being away from my husband so much and I was not about to put up with some lazy slob destroying my apartment. I even cleaned everything and when she criticized me for it, well, she was gone. It took forever before she was finally gone for good but let me tell you...no love lost there :) You have to draw a line. It's one thing to do a favor, to help out others (because goodness knows you may need that same help someday), but it's quite another to have someone telling you what to do in your own home, your home that you've been kind enough to open to them.
Best of luck to you in this situation and I hope things work out for the best for you :)
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