What is Military Families
Today's military family faces a lifestyle that is comprised of frequent deployments, which results in increased family separations. This often proves to be a stressful challenge fo...
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Short term seperation
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Hi I am new here,but this was kinda my last hop on what I shld do.I have a fiance in the military..it is great.I have gone to visit him a few times and he is getting stationed in the states finally :) But as we have been together every time we visit... and its time to depart..I get emotional.. tend to get really upset and have crying spells... I dont have any friends to talk to who can relate really what i am dealing with... I even try to remind myself its only temporary and I will see him very soon.But it still hurts my heart...I love him with so much tht I wld never stray or leave him..I will take the emotional ride b4 I do tht... I am leaving in a ew hrs to go home from visiting him... and I am taking it pretty hard..even though he will be leaving here in bout 20 days and will be back home... and has told me by August he will send for me to move in with him..he said he needed time to get the house ready and utilities on... he even said if his cdc goes well he will get 30 days off of leave in June and wld fly in to see me..but even with tht assurance i still feel sad being away from him... People ask why we havent gotten married yet..its a long story and we plan on it as soon as possible... but my question is for any of you how do you cope when ur spouse or signifiacn other is away on a trip tht was ordered,deployment..or even just a few weeks of being together but not in a physical matter such as he is overseas and youre not and visting can only be so random? How do you handle the heart when its heavy and ure missing them so much..even though you talk daily.. and will see each other soon? I wld think 2 yrs of this I wld be stronger but I feel weaker than ever I feel like Im going to crack... my friends who I have told they just say Man it up and go out and meet other guys for companionship which i will not do..Im very old fashioned... and set in my ways... when he and I are apart i sit home at my moms..and hang with her and my son for company but my saddness is still there... so any advice how i can handle this? ty
Posted on 05/05/09, 10:05 pm |
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Stay busy, busy, busy! You have to find something to occupy your time. Whether it's taking up a hobby, like scrapbooking albums for your son as future keepsakes for him or just getting on here at DS and trying to help others. Volunteer work is another way to stay occupied and focused. Look in the phonebook and see if you have a USO in your area. If you volunteer with them, you are helping all military branch members and their families. Do you work? That's always been a way to help me get through the days apart with my H. You don't have to seek out the company of other guys just to take your mind off of things and I'm glad you don't feel that way.
Suffice it to say, being apart from the one that you love is never easy, but you learn to handle things better each time and coping becomes better too. There will always be those times when you will feel like cracking and that is when you must dig deeper and find that inner strength and keep moving forward. You just need to find what works for you and stick with it. It sounds like you have a great relationship with your guy! Stay busy and that will help you focus. Hang in there and good luck! :) 
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I agree that staying busy is the best way to help cope with seperation from a loved one. I know its hard to get motivated to do things, but once you do, its worth it.
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