Military Families Support Group

I don't know the situation, but can you not contact him? When my brother-in-law was in Korea (not sure if it was Osan, but it sounds familiar) she was able to call him because he had a phone and internet. Hope everything works out well.

i have tried to contact him but he does not respond. i began calling his shop but they say his is not there. once in a blue moon i get him and all he can say is that he has to go. now when i call i am being told that there are no personal phone calls allowed. so i dont know what to do.

Because your H's behavior toward you is causing mental anguish and anxiety attacks that lead you to be hospitalized, I would contact his 1st Sgt where you are currently stationed and get him/her involved. The 1st Shirt is your "go to" guy/gal in situations like these. They will either intervene on your behalf, or find someone who will.

After reading parts of what you wrote on your profile page, it's a wonder the military hasn't come down hard on him for not paying his bills. Not to mention that if he was married to you when he had his fling, he could have been reported and faced punishment. If the other woman was a military member, she could have faced charges too. I just get the feeling that you are being played by a guy who can't make up his mind and quite possibly wants his cake and be able to eat it too. Sad, but ultimately the decision to stay or go is yours alone.

I wish you luck.

First, you can call the Red Cross to do a "health and welfare" check.
Secondly, some intensive counseling is in order. Doesn't matter if it is just you or the both of you- get help fast.!!
Third, in all this time, what have you done for yourself? Gone to school, taken up a hobby, joined a group, gone to church, enrolled in school ? Everyone needs to be surrounded by people and things that make them feel good about themselves (other than bars, broken men and D&D). Take positive steps to be the person God meant you to be and you will have a different perspective.

hugs.

i am seeing a therapist so is he. mine is asking me why i would want to be with a a child. and his is telling him that he does not love me. i will look in to the red cross thing. as for myself i am in school but that is a stess. its an online school for my MBA in business administration. but the problem is i detest my computer. i check my email wanting desperatly for an email from him to be there. i know that i shouldnt but i find that i cant read, or watch tv. everything reminds me of him and seeing a happy couple hurts. going out just makes me see others who appear happy. i know i am in a full swing depression and anxiety problem i just dont know how to stop it.

From your profile, both of you have cheated on each other with other people. He has told you that he wants a divorce, then changes his mind.

My opinion is that the counseling is not helping either of you, he is ignoring you and maybe a seperation/divorce is best. This is something that you need to deal with now because if he is cheating now, he will more than likely continue.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's time to take charge and contact a lawyer.

i think you might have misunderstood upanddown. i did not cheat on my spouse. we had an open marrage during that time. as for his cheating yes he was i dont know if he is currently though it seems he is. perhaps a divorce is what we will do but i dont think that it is the best thing for both of us. people do make mistakes.

Sweetheart, after reading your message and your profile I think you really need to think about your life. Yes you have spent 12 years with this man. He is your first love and your everything but is this the life you want to live forever. Not knowing what is happening, not being with someone who makes you smile every day and makes you feel like the omst important person in the world. You deserve more. You deserve to feel needed, wanted, loved at all times. Not scared and confused and like an after thought. I can not tell you what to do but i have been in relationships like the one you are in and even though after so much time together it seems liek you want to stay with him forever since you have the past, the memories and a life together is thsi the way you really want to be treated. If you did have a daughter someday and she was in this same sort of relationship what would you want for her? Be true to yourself and know that you deserve more, you deserve better, you are a very special person that derserves to be with a man that will love you and make you his number 1 always!

its ok my husband has a lot of friends that just went over to that base and i know he has talked to a couple of them and its all good but it did take them awhile before they were able to call and talk to people just give it a few weeks he'll be able to call.

An "open marriage" is just another way of saying that you agree that it's ok to cheat on each other.

I don't think that the 2 of you should be married. It seems like you don't want an "open marriage" any longer, but he does.

If you suspect that he is cheating, get out of the relationship, it doesn't seem as though there is any trust in this relationship.