What is Meth Addiction
Methamphetamine (also referred to as methylamphetamine or desoxyephedrine) is a synthetic stimulant drug used for both medicinal and recreational purposes (see Legal issues). Metha...
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I am a 35 year old female living with a meth addiction and i have Bipolar dissorder and depression as well. I was anti drug untill the age of 27 when i suffered a breakdown and ended up leaving my bad marriage and my children for six months, i lived out of my car during this time and was introduced to speed at this time, i used it for the whole six months then quit cold turkey, returned to my home town and got my kids back including my abusive husband. It was 4 years before i used speed again and all up i only used it 3 times during a 7 year period. 20 months ago i was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder after having another breakdown and my whole life changed again in both negative and positive ways.
Last August during a really stressful time a friend introduced me to Meth and a little glass pipe. I used meth almost constantly for 4 months before breaking down and going cold turkey for three weeks then started using again. This cycle has repeated itself a few times since then. I dont want this addiction that i have given myself but i cant seem to stop. Meth takes away the constant racing thoughts that i suffer from the bipolar, nothing else has taken this away but meth, i cant cope living with the constant racing thoughts but i cant cope taking meth all the time either. My new partner is also using meth as well thanks to my insistance of how good it makes you feel. Is there anyone else out there with Bipolar who also finds Meth helps with that, i dont really get high anymore either, i get more things done but not that exciting high you get at the start. WHO I AM IS NOT WHO I WANT TO BE BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO ANYMORE I AM ASHAMED OF WHO I HAVE BECOME, I AM A MOTHER OF 5 BOYS AND I DONT WANT THEM TO HAVE A MOTHER LIKE ME THEY DESERVE MORE! Posted on 10/13/09, 09:10 am |
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Sweety, you are not alone. You sound just like my daughter who has been meth free for 5 months now. Only because she is in jail. The one thing I want to say is that once you start meth it kills the normal dopamine in your brain. The longer you use, the more bipolar you can become. This is the cycle. I am glad to hear you want to quit. You can try to do it alone. But it is more difficult then you think. My daughter would look me right in the eye and say she loved meth because she felt normal. How crazy that seems to those of us who don't do this drug. My daughter is also bi polar II. Are you bipolar I or bipolar II? I have been told each treatment can be very different. My daughter lost her son because of Meth. She lost her family. I am just now helping her peice her life back together. I just feel so much for your pain. Your not alone. You just made a choice that wasn't the best. Call NA/AA. If you don't want to go then try the meetings online. Call Salvation Army. But don't do this alone. Look up www.kci.org there is alot of information. You can contact me anytime. I will listen. Your boys deserve you. You just need to figure out how to get out of the situation your in right now. Don't give up. Wanting help is the first step to making it. 
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Oh dear your story is so familiar. I went down a similar road if I can help you please let me know.
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Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired yet?
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