Meth Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Well, it's been a long time since I was here last. I really thought after two years my daughter was back on the road to success. Now I wonder if I was just blind. I wish I knew. Three years ago I had her arrested for stealing my credit card and cashing a check she stole from my checkbook. She received a 3 year differed sentence, and served 90 days straight time in the county jail. She was doing so well. Had a good job,was living with a great guy who hates drugs, though he does drink on a regular basis. One day 18 months ago one of her children had a black eye. He said his brother did it. However later his brother said mom's bf made him. The children were taken away, and eventually placed with their fathers sister There was a court order that the children could not be around this man. Long story short, she thought she could work the system.. Basically she chose the boy friend over the kids. Every time she got close to getting them back, she would get caught with the boyfriend. Meanwhile, she is still working and earning a decent living. I never once thought until the end of Feb that she might be back on the meth, Then a month ago the case worker did a random UA. She popped positive for meth. My oldest son now has the three children, and less than a week of having them, my daughter took one of the boys without supervision to get his hair cut. That Sat night my son went to get some money for his entrance fee for the race, and discovered his sponsorship money for his race car was gone.$720. If course my daughter called crying saying she didn't do it. Well funny how no one ever took anything till she showed up. It broke my heart. I cried for a week. Next thing I knew she quit her job, or got fired. She was behind on rent for the first time in two years. Her boyfriend, called me Monday morning and told me she is in jail. her and some other girl went to a small town nearby and was checking for unlocked cars in a nice neighborhood and stealing whatever they could get. I snapped. I didn't cry at all. still haven't. I got mad instead. I told her two years ago when she finished her jail time that I would never get back on that roller coaster again, And I won't. I told her we weren't bailing her out, and we won't hire an attorney. She used her free call to tell me to go to her arraignment. I didn't go. I was in the courthouse, trying to get the keys to her truck which is in my name. I went to get theruck out of impound and told the police to search it. I was shocked by what they found. A stack of ATM /debit cards, a book of checks,one birth certificate, and someone in the military orders. two syringes and a rubber glove with some kind of liquid in it., Now, at the time of their arrest the only thing that was claimed was a baseball cap, and some sunglasses. How they missed all that other stuff is beyond me. First thing the DA did was file to revoke her differed sentence. She will be going away for a long time I'm afraid. I have refused to accept charges when she calls. I'm not going to pay good money to listen to her lies. It really made me angry when after telling her that her dad was in danger of losing his CDLs due to not being able to pass his annual DOT physical because his blood pressure was through the roof. She called him anyway! We had to call the jail and have them block his cellphone number so she can't call him. She finally stopped calling me. and tried to call her 16 yr old brother and sister today. I'm going to see her tomorrow, I just pray I am strong enough to not let her get to me. I want her to know that we love her, but that she is going to have to woman up and finally take responsibility for her actions. I'm sorry this was so long. I just needed to get it all out. Please pray that I have the strength to say what needs saying tomorrow. It is so easy on the phone when I can't see her. It's another to see your child behind glass and know it will be a long time before you can hug her again. If you got this far, thanks for reading.
Posted on 05/23/09, 01:05 am