Meth Addiction & Recovery Support Group

I feel for you and your situation very much. I have a son who has fought his battles with meth as well, so I know the fear and panic you are having right now.

You are absolutely correct that you must spare your children.... but don't forget that you must spare yourself as well. Talking to a recovering addict is always scary for those clean people around them as we fear that if we say or do something that it might send the addict over the edge again. However, it seems like your mom has some good 'clean' time...3 years.

Talk to your mom in a concerned, loving way Before the boyfriend gets out. Explain to her your fears and that you are concerned for your children, yourself and her. Let her know your intentions ahead of time without saying it in a threatening manner.

If your mom has had any help staying clean, ie: support groups and the like, then she has been taught that she Can Not associate with people who are not on the same path. If she still attends a support group or something like it, you might ask her if you can attend with her and meet some of the people there. Speak to other people in recovery that know your mom and they can stand with you on this issue.

As well, point out the differences in her life now compared to when she was using. Ask her to really think about the possibility of returning to the addicted way of life.

Let her know that she is still vulnerable to a relapse and she can not help or save the boyfriend....that is up to him and professionals or support groups.

Be firm in your beliefs and show her that you love her but make it clear that she has a choice about what type of life she wants....and so do you. It's the kindest thing you can do for an addict.

Be available and let her know that you will be available, when it gets tough for her to say No to him.

If she's not involved in a support group...ie; NA, AA, ask her if you can take her to some meetings. Even though you are not an addict you will get a lot of information at the meetings and at the same time show your mom just how much she means. I attended every meeting with my son and learned a lot as well as helped him through a rough time. And even though she has been clean for 3 years...stressful events can bring a relapse.... explain that to her when you speak to her about the meetings.

My thoughts are with you and I wish all of you the best. If you want to contact me..(I'd be glad to lend friendly support) you can get more info and contact me here:

http://theaddictsattic.blogspot.com/

Thanks for your help and support.

Lacy is right on the money! If His Family and friends still use and he hangs with them he will use, No if's an's or butts ! If your mother gets wit him and he uses then she will use I guarantee it. Ive been around the game a long long time and I am 100 percent positive in what lace and I are saying. Tell her where you stand and dont hesitate to do what you say! he will need to be clean about 1 year after he gets out before I would start to believe in him, She could go to meetings with this fella but if he is abusive then why would she want him, I am praying for all of you and pleasew let me know how things are going, I and others are always here to say hi if nothing else. GOD BLESS

Thanks for your support. I don't know why she wants to be with him. they have been together since i was 6 and i am 27 almost 28 and he has been a drug user the hole time and he has been abusive the hole time. I keep telling her that her life ain't worth him. I keep telling her that one day he is going to beat her so bad that he is going to kill her. He has had a gun to her head before so i don't understand why she still wants to be with him. That would make me relize that he doesn't love her. I Just don't know. I don't get it. Why would someone want to be with someone that beats them all the time and makes them do the drugs and threatens her kids and grandkids. I just don't get it.

Well you cannot control other people and get enmeshed in their situations. Hard to do, I know. Especially when it is your own mom. But like the others said, you have to protect yourself and your children...which means having to draw a hard line with boundaries. Also not easy, but essential. Good luck to all of you in your family.

thanks

Your mom will only fail if she allows herself to. It could be her x or she could run into a old friend in Wal-Mart. I know how hard it is and I know you feel so helpless. Does she know how you feel. It may be a fear she has also.
I am raising a child from two meth heads, the father of this child is my son.
Is your mom planning on seeing him (her x) or are they actually still together?
It is such a hard drug to get away from and then to stay off of.
And yes if she does you are right spare your children from the horrible stuff.
I have had to recently walk away from my son, and I am doing good. He has drug us down this road one to many times...and it is not going to happen again.

Well as of right now i am not sure of there relationship. Apparently she just got a letter from him this past week saying he doesn't know if he wants to be with her anymore Just because she went out for her birthday that was on the 21st of feb. I hope she will see that she doesn't need him and will stay away from him.. So i will keep you all up to date.

I am the daughter of a recovered meth addict My mom got into it about 8 years ago and went to jail several times I couldnt tell her how I felt and how much it hurt I just distanced myself from her she missed seeing her grandkids grow up it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do I wish I would of told her how I felt but I dont know if she would of even got it. she was doing better as far as I know she was clean we were working on our relationship she came to my house for christmas dinner something she hadnt done for a long time and a month latter she was gone she had a heart attack and died in her bed she was 58 my world is shattered I no longer have a mom I loved her so much. Please talk to your mom now I know it will be hard but tell how you feel tell her how scared you are tell her about me anything to keep her with you and her grandkids do it while shes clean because if she gets back into that crap she wont hear a word you say. everyday I wake up wishing I would of talked to her about how I felt please dont make my mistake I wish you the very best I hope that my story help you I do know exactly how you feel

some good info .........talk to her while she is straight let her know your fears.
By the way my son took me serois and didn't call for close to a week...he has been clean since! I guess he knew I had had enough of that roller coaster ride.
Prayers are with you good luck