I used to be a huge meth addict for 6 years, and in 2000 I got clean. I had just over 9 years of sobriety, and my life had competely changed for the better when I started renting a room to a woman who was also supposedly an ex addict. For the last 5 years or so I have had no desire to ever do meth again, it wasn't even something that ever entered my mind. When this woman moved in we became pretty close, both being struggling single mothers, and we started to tell the "back in the day" stories. One thing led to another and I started using again. It has only been about 4 months and it is already ruining my life. I had to go on short term disability from work as a cover for why I had been missing so much work. I convinced my doctor that I was suffering from extreme anxiety, and got 6 weeks of
leave. Of course during that time my addiction became out of control because I had nothing but time, and my daughter was at
school and daycare all day. Last week I got into a huge argument with my roommate over her need to control me and everyone else and I gave her a 30 day notice. Of course we were both high and horrible things have been said, and the fight just keeps getting worse and worse. Out of pure desperation I told my parents what I was doing and begged them to help me. It was the best thing I ever did because the disappointment I saw in their eyes is what is driving me to stay clean right now. My problem is that I have such horrible rage against my roommate, who is still living in my house (her 30 days won't be up for 2 more weeks). I have never felt such intense hate towards a single person before EVER. She is completely unwilling to accept any responsability for what happened, and says that it's not her fault I started smoking again, or that I became so out of control. She claims to be completely in control of her use (which is not possible with meth) and says that if I can't control myself then I should have said "No" all the times she asked me to do it.
I could go on and on with the stupid things she has said, but basically they are all just as stupid as telling an addict that they should have just said no when offered their drug of choice. How do I stop feeling such rage and hatred? I'm not a violent person and have never wished ill on anyone, but all I can think about is how baddly I want to ruin this womans life at any cost. Help!!!!
Posted on 10/02/09, 08:10 am
can you stay with your parents for the nexted two weeks? 
