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i dont want to do this anymore...i dont want to want this anymore...im not this person to the outside world...nobody would beleive i do this at night...i dont want to anymore
Posted on 06/10/07, 12:31 am
19 Replies | Most Recent Add Your Advice
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Reply #11 - 10/20/07  2:13am
" well i feel like the artist, now im to scared to quit because of the depression and suicidal thoughts that come when i do. i have anti depressants but i dont take them when i use. its been a while since i've been on them and it takes weeks for them to take effect. so whats the use. i've also recently broken a #1 rule of mine and that was not to shoot up. while looking for veins in my arms i irritated them and my arms are brused and a little swolen. hoping my dad does not see, he's a recovering herion addict with almost 30 years clean. "
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Reply #12 - 10/20/07  8:36am
" Dear Sara Dear Misslonley please you dont have to live that way my heart breaks to the point i cry for you and i cant focus on these letters i feel your pain it cuts me like a knife and i must relive my addiction in order to try and help you get over the terror of that drug...continue next letter "
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Reply #13 - 10/20/07  8:49am
" you both are very simuliar in whats going on i will explain 1st how the perp invades your home your health your future and most of all your chance to make piece w/God.I am not preaching Im only urging you to know that there is life after death body spirit and soul the spirit is within your very heart and mind ,protect it dont let the flesh rule your whole body because the flesh is weak and the spirit is oh so strong.follow your spirit not the urges of the flesh remember my sisters the flesh is only here for a short while but the spirit lives in eternity..contueance "
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Reply #14 - 10/20/07  8:59am
" The perp the enemy the abuser,he or she is either very stupid or they thrive on your misery that to me is hate and i cant be around hate for what does darkness have in common w/ light notta no ists in conflict just like your spirit and the flesh they battle and the spirit must win.how do i know that you ladies have that struggle because you have cried out and i feel you.there is so much more ive got to say so 1 second ill be right back...continue "
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Reply #15 - 10/20/07  9:20am
" Step out of your shoes let me put them on ill take the wheel you lay rest here goes.Listen mr. dealer you are trash you didnt come to me as trash and thats deception so you here this stay away from me i dont care if you are family ,employer ,"close friend", thats what you say but youve hurt me youve tried to kill me your a murder you are of the devil and im scared of your presance so stay away from me im not stable and my actions could be your down fall.the wind blows he feels it but he cant see where it came from his thoughts take a very short control he knows you are serious and says ok and you let the flesh take control again and you say what have i done did i just cut myself off from the meth.yes you did and thats the start of the marathone,you listen to your spirit you know whats right and whats wrong right is good its of God wrong is bad its of the evil one,take control now ,your foot has crossed the start line you are ahead keep going please dont look back....continue "
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Reply #16 - 10/20/07  9:39am
" contious effort yes thats the most important part of the recovery process.lets address the needle the content of the meth.the needle is a gun if you shoot yourself enough and so many times then you die.i myself carried the machine gun now i dont have 1 vein on surface and that means if i go to the hospital and they want to draw blood or put a line in me they cant unless the do a cutdown on my growen or close to my heart.its the worst part of being a former junkie.yes misslonley we are junkies and junk is throne in the trash unless one mans junk is another mans tresures.thats us honey you are that piece of art,point made throw those rigs away cut them in half and flush them...continue "
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Reply #17 - 10/20/07  10:40am
" meth,herion the #1 killer of the drug world folks may disagree because the stats are not posted why you say its because the media and gov. dont care if you live or die,sound familiar,remember the dealer your flesh even the neibour next door,family,friends that use meth how much can this boat carry many you count them look back to the ones that know your illness did they help do they care no your problem is yours not theirs so its easier to not help than to help.we are commanded to take on oneanothers burdens lift the rock up off the wounded one.meth-am-phedimine the prefix meth is the poison its the ultimate destruction of the body its what makes you skitz pick dig for veins peek out the windows fear terror sex bondage whatever goes w the dealer (trash)the amphedimine gives this meth the legs to continue to strive days and days and thats when you are selfdestructing and your spirit gets depleted broke down and eventually you give in or up and you know nothing else but that meth or i meant to say death.its no secret ive lost many friends to meth and some are still around at45 they look like 75 and have multible health issues death awaits,its lurking it wants the user to continue to disrupt and kill others before the death comes.many people are decieved they say there is nothig after death a reason to go on in that misery and selfdestruct.thats called agnostic,or athiest lets look at the letter -a- its first in the alphabet,God always lets the devil go first,Job,revelation,the pale hourse,and i can go on &on but point taken im sure.now next...continue "
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Reply #18 - 10/20/07  12:07pm
" metham. is made of ephedrine safe drug for sinus problems but you see the devil is very smart he is a chemist and emplements to a cook that the element in ephed. can be broken down w/ acid and converted to speed now the old time speed was 7 acids combined and vaporized to a more condenced cleaner type of either meth or amphedimine both soluble and very clean but the end results of use is the same as ice made by sudoephederine in which it takes acid componds to make it form and the methlimine is added to control your thought patterns,its called P.H.settings which are adjusted to whatever level the cook wants....continue "
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Reply #19 - 10/20/07  12:41pm
" im worn down even i still struggle w/ the enemy no its not meth i stopped that 10yrs ago and ive just detoxed methadone/xanax in which i was taken to control the pain from a shotgun wound to the ankle in 1993 and as any narcotic would have it i lost control of my life once again 3 straight yrs of the use of those drugs almost killed me but that light in my spirit would convict me over and over again to the point that i had to make a decision to either continue in my addiction or stop,turn act,find recovery,and Gods purpose for my life.its been 3 weeks now and im still detoxing but i had to climb the mountain to the top now i can lay down and roll back down to embrace victory.im not going to pad your chair for you i will tell you this much from experiance only meth is very easy to kick unless its laced w/ herion you must take time away (3) weeks and sleep,b-12,liquids,food and more sleep it will get better i promise youll see the differance when you awake and move around a little at a time it will progress and you will be better,i must leave now ive got thing s to do at home and believe me im already worn down but my feet and legs say 1foot in front of the other repeat repeat,and im done ill be watching the site if i offended you w/ mentioning the very God that substains me then to bad i cannot fade the truth all things in this story are truth,and facts ive not lied or decieved in any way its only my testomony.loving all and being availible to all deral "

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