What is Mental Retardation
Mental retardation is a term for a pattern of persistently slow learning of basic motor and language skills ("milestones") during childhood, and a significantly below-normal global...
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When family is in denial about grandd/neice
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My daughter is 12, 13 in late August. I'm visiting my parents in Buffalo and we celebrate her bday up here since they never get to celebrate with us for any ocassion...(she is more like 7 or 8 mentally)
In the middle of the party, my not nice sister (I have two one nice, one mean..both in denial as well) said the word "retard"...My mother LOUDLY whispers "don't use that word, SOME people get upset even though I KNOW Lil isn't in any way shape or form retarded" By now near yelling at me in the midst of 20 some people! I was angry and mortified. They are seeing her for a very short time (a week) in a very controlled environment....what do they know? I have TEACCH, a neuropsychologist and her ped all agreeing she is autistic, mr too. I let it go rather than start a fight, but it ticked me off and frustrates me as well. My daughter heard ALL of this! Would you have handled it differently? My mom is very domineering and my mean sister has a big nasty mouth so I didn't want an explosion at dd's party. Any thoughts? Thanks so much! SusanNC Posted on 07/30/07, 05:07 pm |
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It makes me angry too how some people use the word retarded so loosely, I think I would have done the same thing though. There is a big difference in being mentally retarded and being ignorant of the fact. Hopefully some people will overcome their ignorance and realize that words can hurt. Hugs, Vicky 
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Susan-
My son is 8 (acts like 4ish) and we have relatives who still think he's just spoiled. I have tolerated it for quite awhile ... inviting them to visit his school and even sharing some reports from doctors, schools, etc. but it continues. At this point I'm ready to simply distance myself from those people, which is not an easy decision. I guess I have no advice but wanted to let you know that I understand and empathize. MK
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my daughter is 7 (and more like 2 in most ways) but always a joy to see. luckily these kids dont know how people see them so ive learned to just surround her w/ the best people i can. even if that means distancing myself from family members. it doesnt get easier but u will learn to make the best choices for her..........nicole
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Since I am a sister and not a parent and also a former teacher, my responses tend to be a little different. MY sister is also 52 so I have over come a lot of the anger. It was actually the father of an Autistic child that taught me to view these people as uneducated rather than as just mean and stupid (though some are still just mean). Anyway, when I can, I try to make these teaching moments. Saying stuff like my daughter has more challenges than most people but she and then I always add something positive. I think when your child is capable of understanding that they are different they need help dealing with it. However, it is really important that they be left with positive feedback when something like this happens. I know this is much harder to do when you are a parent and have so many emotions to deal with. Hugs and more hugs, Donna
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Susan, you handled this well I think, using diplomacy and tact. Unfortunately, society judges anyone that is different in anyway with sometimes such rude behavior. To me, persons doing this only display their own ignorance, and in the process they have complete disregard for other's feelings. My son, now 22 - he thinks like 12 to 14, is super sensitive to labels, and if someone attempts to label him MR now, he'll flat out tell them he's not and get extremely hurt and upset. Labels should only be utilized for classroom placements, and that should be the extent of them, because that's the only time I've found them to be significant. Poor ignorant people, maybe they'll learn someday!
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k you for all your wise input. I truly value what you've had to say about this. My mom and I have distanced ourselves since the visit and though it's sad, I don't feel like a "bad" parent "holding my kid back". We will not be going home to visit this summer unless my dad isn't well (he has chronic luekemia) and I have MS (the drive just about wipes me out anyway)......
Thank you for caring enough to let me know what you think! Blessings to you and yours, SusanNC
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we have family than is nothing but unconsiderate after 22 yrs and they have a daughter who is MR. they are "toxic" to our family....especially when they now my sister goes from jumpy&hyper to tears as soon as they say "retarded". ITS JUST SICK. i yell at all my family if "retarded" slips out cus its just wrong.
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we have family than is nothing but unconsiderate after 22 yrs and they have a daughter who is MR. they are "toxic" to our family....especially when they now my sister goes from jumpy&hyper to tears as soon as they say "retarded". ITS JUST SICK. i yell at all my family if "retarded" slips out cus its just wrong.
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we have family than is nothing but unconsiderate after 22 yrs and they have a daughter who is MR. they are "toxic" to our family....especially when they now my sister goes from jumpy&hyper to tears as soon as they say "retarded". ITS JUST SICK. i yell at all my family if "retarded" slips out cus its just wrong.
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we have family than is nothing but unconsiderate after 22 yrs and they have a daughter who is MR. they are "toxic" to our family....especially when they now my sister goes from jumpy&hyper to tears as soon as they say "retarded". ITS JUST SICK. i yell at all my family if "retarded" slips out cus its just wrong.
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