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I had a total abdominal hysterectomy in 2010 but 2 yrs prior I ceased having periods and the onset of menopause arrived...really I think it began after I had my daughter in 2004 at which time I had a tubal ligation...I went from post postpartum into peri- menopause,of course my doctors was saying I was too young,but it runs in the family history.
There have been alot of changes to my body and mind..some Ive adjusted too and some I am no learning I need to exercise control over,thats my temper. I was one who always swallowed everything,bit my tongue and just allowed people to say all kinda stuff to my face and behind my back I heard it all. But let me tell you!! since I had this surgery Ive been in misery,Ive got severe depression,fibromyalgia,and chronic this and chronic that.. I find myself just letting people have it..I give them more then my 2 cents well over here in the Bahamas we say thats my 5cent & I sticking to it! lol Maybe Im making up for all the years I kept quiet and took the verbal abuse..anyone thats ever hurt me in any way if they cross my path and we get ta talking..whatevers inside ga come out!! I was a mat people walked on, and during my recovery period I had alot of thinking to do between the hot flushes and sleepless nights... Reality though as really took people by surprise and so have pulled themselves from my life..either the truth hurts or they wondering why she bringing that up now/? Who knows but that once shy,timid girl is gone and out of the depth of dark depression came a wounded soul determined to make people pay for hurting me.. I wondering is this what menopause does to a woman make her crazy? I know Jekyl & Hyde personally now..I figure when its all said and done ,I will have serenity and take the next half of my life slow & cautious. I know who I am inside,I am an introvert and I trust too easily then get hurt.I am kind,loving and friendly...when will she return I have no earthly idea! Right now anxiety,depression & all the mechanisms that used to run my mind and body are scattered under brain fog.I have both my kids on mommy watch,cus I will go start cooking and leave it and forget ,next thing I know I smell smoke. I go into the grocery store even with my list,I see what I want of the shelf but I stare at it confused,then I get paranoid.."Is someone watching all this emotional drama in my head?" ok then there is the flood gates of tears,when I am overwhelmed with exhaustion this is what comes next crying spells..oh and when I have a hotflash..I know tears are coming why I have no clue that my body is working this way. No sexual desires,nada..well I dont have no one anyway and aint looking until this phase of my life is settled. I know Im trying to be humorous,but this is my life day to day,I am on several support groups here cus I really need to read others posts what you all are going through so I dont feel alone.I have no one to talk to here on a daily basis,not about all my conditions anyways. ok Im outta breath from typing so fast..lol...gee Im laoughing been a long time since I had a good laugh at myself...must be the sunburn I got today when I had to walk cus my car broke down..yep a day in teh life of Sandyshores!! Posted on 04/13/12, 08:11 pm |
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sandy - I read your post this morning and planned to reply - just got tied up with other things (fall-out from my hyst as a matter of fact).
I feel so badly for you. You've been suffering for so long and it sounds like you can't take estrogen or are concerned about taking it due to your diagnosis. I was much like you for over a year post-op but getting a good level of estrogen has helped a lot. I didn't think I'd ever get out of the deep black hole of depression and anxiety. Mood swings and anger weren't so much of a problem but I was very irritable and everything was overwhelming! The awful insomnia didn't help matters! And yes, I also had the onset of ADD. Like you, I had a few scary episodes of cooking and forgetting about it! My cognition wasn't affected much but my memory seemed like it was shot. It didn't help to be dealing with the trauma of having had organs so needlessly removed. I know you were on anti-depressants. Are you still? Do you maybe need a different one or a larger dose? Any possibility you can take estrogen? You sound like your quality of life is suffering so much that maybe it would be worth a try. Just a thought... Oh, and I'm sorry your car broke down, certainly something you could have done without! 
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hi sandy.....ment to write back as well and got tied up...sorry.
First of all, you need a big giant hug..... I believe there is a light at the end of this tunnel called menopause...my older frienda asure me that i will be just fine. And so will you !!!! Menopause is a natural process. I have noticed more irritation, a bit more anxiety certain days.....luckily peri-menopause is a long process, giving you time to adjust. Make sure you treat yourself well with good nutrition, frequent exercise, stress management (meditation, yoga breathing, stretching, soothing music, massages, hot bath)...be your own best friend !!! And do what you want to do...don't hold back. I feel this is OUR time now.
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my situation kinda sounds like yours .. had a tubal also , then started having weird periods ,lot of anixety , fly off the handle doc said I need a total hyster. and before this I had started the hot flashes etc . I was only 42. I said humm to young for that , but he said no. after Hyst I went on estrogen and it helped alot ... sounds like you need some sort of estrogen ... I think it will really help you. Go see a Gyno dr. not your famliy dr. Go to the expert... Hope you can get things straighten out.. Roz
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Thanks ladies, Well I have thought about estrogen but I can deal with the hot flashes they are not daily, maybe a few times a month,but the depression ,anxiety , forgetfulness & extreme fatigue is major along with the joints and aches..I have been on a new AD now for 21/2 months and my lows arent bad as they were but I am still were I can hardly walk,and bend over to pick up things ..I also have osteoporosis & Osteoarthritis ..my GYN [2011]told me if I get to where my symptoms are interfering with my life to come back and she will RX estrogen if she feels the benefits outweigh the risk.But I never went back..I just settled with all this and felt its all a part of menopause & the hysterectomy. I am due for blood work soon, the annual chk up for cancer and will talk to the doc then...b4 the hyster i had hip pains a few times a month,id take advil or motrin,all was well..now nothing I take eases it at all..only pills that helps me sleep,although the pain wakes me at night and its difficult to turn over...but I used to multi task..flop on the bed ,or a chair walk fast- doing chores even with the weight but now Im doing good if I can stand up from the bed or a chair to get to the bathroom,sometimes I cant even shower the pain is awful ...I am practically an invalid now,I dunno what to do to get my life back..
I started taking magnesium with zinc..I take Rivotril -Amtriptyline & paracetemol with codiene..I get about 5 hours good sleep at first then when Im conscious the pain kicks in and its hard getting back to sleep..Id rather have the depression then all this pain, at least with teh depression I could still get up and move and do what I used to...but you know something,all this came on gradually,it wasnt until the fall of 2011 did I begin to get very painful and bed ridden...oh my what a life..soon as I get my car fixed I need to get to the beach and sit in the water . I watch comedies to bring laughter to my life as well as my children they try their best to be witty...mood swings come and go mostly I am low...then I have a spell like last night when I wrote this post and wondered if Im manic!!?
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Oh you poor girl! I remember you posting before about having so much pain. I didn't realize it was in your hip; I thought it was pelvic pain. Do you know if it's from osteoporosis or osteoarthritis? I know that some women get arthritis relief from estrogen. And estrogen helps retain bone too. A lot of doctors seem to think that the main reason to Rx estrogen is to relieve hot flashes. But estrogen does MUCH MORE than that. May be worth a try! ((Hugs))
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hey sandy....about your moodswings.......i have them, too...i notice that they are very different than the pms i used to have...i get into a rage.
But i let it out and it's gone...i am not worried about it. Don't worry about offending...you haven't said anything offensive to me whatsoever.....
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i have osteoporosis too. also look at the side effects of your meds , could be your meds too.... still think oyu need to have a sit down with your woman dr...
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Estrogen is needed for sleep, emotional health, stimulates the brain, tones the skin, and helps maintain bone mass, promotes good cholesterol, ..to name a few things, reduces the risk of colon cancer, diabetes, and Alzheimer's disease, to name a few.
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@sugaboog..sounds like I need to get some Estrogen then..see if it helps me out of this bed..will talk to Doctor soon.
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