What is Marijuana Addiction
The drug cannabis, commonly known as marijuana, is produced from parts of the cannabis plant, primarily the cured flowers and gathered trichomes of the female plant. The major acti...
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son started up again
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My son is 16. He had trouble with pot a year ago and he was grounded for a long time and sent to counselling. I was having his urine checked and he had been clean since. I just found out tonight that he started again. He didn't deny it when I asked him and told me the same things a last time. he says that he really loves it and loves how it makes him feel. he says he is smart about it. I'm glad he is honest with me about it, but I answer him back calmly that I want to support him with everything but i can't accept the drugs as a part of him. He was crying and said why can't you just accept me for who I am. I love that guy so much and I do tell him over and over how I do and the things I like about him. He is a very friendly guy and makes other people feel comfortable. He has alot of friends and wears his heart on his sleeeve. He has always been very active and loves extreem sports and living life on the edge. He can be lots of fun but at the same time I had him checked for ADD because his attention span is not good at school. He didn't have it. I thought he may have been self medicationg or something. Anyway.....he is open about things. He says he hates himself although no one would see him that way. he says he thinks there is something wrong with him because he has not had sex yet. he says he will stop when he gets the right girl. He told me he feels dead inside. This broke my heart. He promises me he will get his diploma and doesn't want me to worry about him doing drugs. I don't want my son to feel dead inside and hate himself. And honestly no one would be able to tell he feels this way and I don't know why he does. I think he is so awesome. (just not the drugs) What else can I do for him?
Posted on 04/26/09, 11:04 pm |
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I don't really know what the right answer is but i do not that i pulled the same kind of stuff on my mom and i was 24 before i ever got my shit together enough to go to college and, when things got really really tough in my life, i reverted back to pot and now at 50 i am struggling with the same marijuana problem i had in high school. He is not going to develop emotionally as long as he is getting high. Period. Lots of studies support that. He may be cool and all and you may like him liking you but i can't tell you how many times i wish my mom would've been more a mom and less a friend and put her foot down and did whatever she could so i wouldn't have been such a partier. If he doesn't learn it now, he'll be struggling at 50 also. 
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He has no reason to stop if there are no consequences for his actions. Don't swallow his BS about smoking weed---they are not reasons, they are EXCUSES. We users can rationalize almost anything. Furthermore, if he's involved in extreme sports, he's endangering himself by being impaired on weed.
Sounds like he's got you wrapped around his little finger, mom. (I assume you're his mom--excuse me if you're his dad). Don't allow yourself to be manipulated.
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What you can do for him?
Get help for yourslef - Al Anon or Nar Anon is for anyone with a loved one who has alcoholism/addiction. Try reading some of the literaturea and book and try attending at least 6 meetings before you decide if it is for you. We as loved ones become obsessed, angry, take the blame, feel if they loved us they'd quit - it's ADDICTION - even people who WANT to quit struggle, sometimes terribly and to the point of death. Al Anon helps you to get support and help for yourself, because you are suffering - it's heartbreaking to realize the one we loved is in the disease of addiction, self destructive and also causing wreckage in the lives of those who love him. You are not alone! We are POWERLESS over marijuana and our lives had become unmanageable., and there are 11 other steps that help us to live our lives to the best of our ability, and see when we start to detach from the addicts addictive behavior, they may have some consequences laid on their own laps and may be inspired to get help for themselves, and in that case there is marijuana anonymous, but only for those who WANT to quit smoking.
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Is he still in counseling? If not, I would get him back in, get him going regularly. I'm kinda in a similar boat as your son. I'm also 16 and have a lot of problems and weed helps me feel better and care free, like nothing is a problem and I feel better about myself. But I quit smoking three days ago and well, my mom took away the weed, the pipes, and I'm basically locked up in the house. It's kinda for the best I guess, because weed, though I thought it helped, it can really make people make bad decisions, especially risk takers. It's also illegal and you don't want your son in that kind of situation. He may not like quitting but it's probably for the best, there are better ways to self-medicate or feel better without illegal drugs. You seem like a great mom, keep telling your son the good things about him, try to get him wanting to steer clear of drugs. I hope he has some friends that aren't into smoking pot, because that's one problem I'm having now, many of my friend smoke, too, and I'm not allowed to see them for quite a while. Good luck with your son, things can all work out and you being so loving towards your son and looking out for his best interest makes me more positive about that.
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