Marijuana Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Hi Hanna. Boy, i can relate. I am on day 4 now without pot. I've been smoking pot a long time and i've lost a lot of friends because i don't keep up with anyone because I always choose getting high over getting "real".

And i won't lie to you - it has not been an easy four days. I have been a bitch from hell and i am shocked how easy it is for me to rage when i can't have that toke to chill me. Like you too i am ADD and i self medicate with pot because i don't want to take anything. Being ADD is a superpower. Most of the really successful people i know are ADD but it's learning how to control all the energy and "anxiety" that comes along with it. That's my next big hurdle because first i have to give up the pot. Before i lose everything.

Also like you, i am a lesbian and my wife and i have been on turbulent waters because of my smoking (she has never been high on drugs - she's one of those naturally happy people). Lucky me though, she is being very supportive and is tolerating my raging to help me get through this. However, it is clear i need to succeed at this to keep some one as wonderful as her in my life. And trust me, it will be worth every ounce of pain because i did luck out getting her.

Today was a little better than yesterday because i got up and exercised until i couldn't anymore. And that really put a nice chill on me so that it's now 5:30 where i am and i am only now feeling like smashing big things into little pieces.

This is a great site for help. I joined the day before i quit. I'm here if you need to talk.

Well, thank you. I only know one thing and that's that I need to do this. I want to be happy again, I can't even remember how to be myself. And uh, it's spelled Hannah. With an H.
But yeah, thank you.

Having a desire to quit, it is a good thing to consider trying the 12 step program of marijuana anonymous (Step 1 - we admitted we were powerless over marijuana and our lives had become unmanageable). The only sober potheads I know who have longterm sobriety are in MA and or AA - and it is a good program to learn how to have a happy life, clean, one day at a time.


www.ma-online.org
www.marijuana-anonymous.org
Good for you for reaching out for help. It is availabe if you want it. You are not alone!

I think saying you are powerless over anything is not the right approach. That's how the christians and the muslims and the mormans and the catholics and the scientologists and all the other mythology-based sects suck people under their control - by convincing them they are powerless over their own lives. I'm building my power. I don't need fiction to help me with that.

I largely agree with what you're saying in respect to organized religion---

BUT....

By the same token, there is a lot of peer support and 'real-world' advice on staying clean to be had there....I advise you to keep an open mind, and as the 12-steppers themselves say, "Take what you need and leave the rest". That's what I did.

I actually think AA is harmful to some. The meeting i went to, i heard some 40 year old lady talk about being raped by her father etc., crying and crying and I was shocked when she said that it happened 30 years ago. I don't think it's good to relive it over and over and over and over. It's like picking at a scab so it never heals. Maybe some people need that but it would not work for me. So between the god myth and the wearing all your wounds open, it's just not a good fit for an individual like me.

I can't comment on the particular meeting you went to, but not all of them are the same...They vary widely both in format, and the people who attend them
But I ain't selling anything, as always your mileage may vary.
I would say though, that 12-step programs are spiritual, not religious, although I think a lot of folks forget that...

gloria...good luck in building your "power" on your own.

loved1..like I said before I know many people who have not went thru MA or AA and are very successful at sobriety. I am glad it worked for you..but always remember "different strokes for different folks"...:)