Lupus Support Group

"In adding this Comment, I ________, do promise to be nice."

is also under each comment box, i guess it is all in interpretation.

well i don't know the details of what was said or not said but i appreciate the help of every one on here. some days you just may need to vent and what is said may be taken out of context. you can't please everyone every day and everyone has their own opinion and everyone is not gonna agree on everything. if i need more info on something i know i can ask you and right now i feel if lupus is dumping on me all at one time. so let people think what they want and have their own opinions...thats what makes the world go around.

We're not talking about a negative comment. We're talking about the insensitivity in the way the comment is made. Rudeness and sarcasm are unacceptable under any circumstances no matter how "educated" somebody may feel they are.

This discussion we've been having back and forth is nothing but negative energy and has been totally unproductive. Can we just get passed this and just get back to what this group is supposed to be about?

That's just what I had to say.

Dale

It’s a bit vague, but I still stand by not being conned into writing replies to people that don’t walk in my shoes. I came on here for support from my fellow luppies; you all understand the medication the pain. I want to talk to people that I can relate to, that have an idea what am going through a and what i am feeling. When someone comes on and wants advise about mother, brother who ever, I will always answer. But when people come on just to have a go at one individual that’s when my stress levels raise. I want every one to get on, but what I cannot abide is the persecution of one indivuiuals, that are going through the same issues just like we all are they are no diffrent from us, they cry just like we cry! they go through what we do . The negativity and the unhelpful remarks must stop.
You have to understand what this group means to me – I joined when I was first diagnosed. With the help of the people on here I have learnt to deal with illness accept that I have changed, for the better you have all encouraged me to look after myself, my mind & body and soul because of the people on here. But byou folks at DS don’t see that and those who choose to persecute individuals don’t see it or get it at all.

Well that was my vent – from your Luppie sister.

Ann X

Luppy, you are a sensitive soul and I really feel for you, but no one is "conning" you into replying to anyone. If you have sent out love to people whom you later believe were fakers, what have you lost?

As for the accused "fakers." What if you are wrong? Do you know the hurt that is caused when someone asks for help and support and gets slammed for being a phony, and their journals are twisted out of context and put up for all to see? Would you like that done to you?

Isn't it better to treat EVERYONE the way you want to be treated?

Tracy, I'm beginning to think you want to be thrown off DS. Keep on doing what you have been doing and it will happen.

Because your conduct has been against the rules, the REAL rules, the PERTINENT rules, which you conveniently do not cite here.

These are:

"3. DailyStrength tackles serious life-and-death issues. There are real people behind each of the computers connected to DS, and many of them are going through traumatic experiences and need help. Before responding, try to give folks the benefit of the doubt, and think about how you'd feel as the recipient of your contributions. Is it appropriate? Is it helpful? As our moms always said, "If it's not nice, don't say it'."

[See, Luppy? Please "try to give folks the benefit of the doubt" and understand how you'd feel if you were attacked like that guy was last weekend who posted about his mother.]

Also, another Rule from DS:

"Personal Attacks and Harassment:
Healthy debate is always OK. Attacks or threats against an individual or group are not. This is our single biggest abuse problem on DailyStrength, and probably the most debated, so here're some examples to help clarify what an "attack" is:

a. A member posts a comment that directly insults another member ("you are an idiot", etc.). Disagreeing with another member is fine, but don't make it personal'."

[In other words, don't make it personal by doing what Tracy did in the "My Wife Has . . . ." discussion started by Rajikumi. Tracy's posts within that discussion were pulled by DS but all you have to do is read Raj's replies and reactions of other people to know that her comments were vicious, venomous, hateful and extremely hurtful. That is how she got DS's attention in the first place.]

As long as Tracy keeps justifying her behavior and people keep supporting that behavior, this board will never go back to people supporting each other.

I have wanted to ask questions related to myself for a long time. But this "chilling effect" that Tracy has created has kept me from participating, as it has so many others.

I don't want to be diagnosed by Tracy, who is not a doctor. [that's another rule she is breaking.]

I don't want to be insulted because Tracy decides I don't have a right to be on here.

I want to have civil discourse with empathetic people, not people who care more about their status on this board (as in wanting to run it) than they do about people who ask for help and support.

Tracy, you talk like you're a medical authority. I talk like I am trained to read rules and regulations. The difference between us? You're NOT a doctor. I AM a lawyer.

From the way I read DS's rules, the next time you launch a nasty attack like the one on Rajikumi, DS will kick you off. And you will have no one but yourself to blame.

Thanks wolfie for putting up those other rules. It makes so much more sense now. hugs marilyn

Thank you Wolfe as well from me. Cheers! Have a great day!

I think Wolf, Grammy (MOM), Froggy, Rachelle, Dale, and Ann have said it all.

No one wants it anymore from you or anyone else so just knock it off so we can get back to getting back to what we all came here for, getting real support from those who really care, and who really understand and really have sympathy for others.