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Friday May 24, 2013
Rambling Stories
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so once upon a time I had what I call a hero crush on one of my cousins. Its not really a loving desire type of crush. More like an iinfatuation because he didnt make me feel like an outsider and actually spent time with me. Then the day came when we were sitting on grandmas pourch and he said he had to go she his girlfriend. For some reason I got jelious and upset but tried not to show it. It fe...
1 Recommendation
4 CommentsAdvertisementI was thinking tonight after today's events about karma. I believe that you reap what you sow. For every action there is an equal opposite reaction. What goes around comes around, etc, etc. Which ever way you spin it, what you do in your life comes back at you in some form or another.
So that being what I believe in, I must of been one hell of a nasty person when younger. I think for every action...1 Recommendation5 CommentsCatch me I'm exhausted. We went over what nerves are actually made up off. Lots of neurons and electric pulses and so much more. It is amazing how the nervous system actually works. It is very complex and is still an uncharted process for researchers. They can measure many things but watching a nervous system in action is hard. They can do studies and gauge from that what is going on but there is...1 Recommendation3 CommentsComing off the pain medication has been HARD!!!!!
I wouldn't recommend it but I decided to go could turkey. No tramadol Sunday night and onwards. The Endep I tried stepping down like the doctor wanted me too but by Tuesday night I gave that one up too. I couldn't see the point when then lesser amount did absolutely nothing.
Wasn't a good move but the best one for me. I suffered terrible withdrawa...1 Recommendation3 CommentsThat is just what it is: The Seattle Freeze. It is the same story again and again: Meet someone, they suggest getting together, you ask when and they say, "I will e-mail you", only it never happens.
Heard this from others; they've been here 20 years, and are used to going to work, then going home alone.
Joined a couple of clubs and am going to music shows, but so far alone.
Wait...1 Recommendation3 CommentsThings are still ok. I look at it this way. At least they are ok. I need to talk to my doc about the falling off the cliffs happening again. these ups and down like this are hard on me. I haven't cut for a few weeks. But the last few times have been deep cuts. I need to stop before some thing bad happens. I will still send prayers to my higher power for all my friends here.1 Recommendation6 CommentsI feel so damn sorry for myself. All I think about is poor me. I try to think of others but it takes conscious effort, like it's un natural to me.
A friend pointed out that I've talked about suicide for a long time and haven't done it, so I'll probably just fantasize about it and keep living. And she's right. I wish I had the guts to do it but it looks like I don't. I long to be free of this exis...1 Recommendation9 CommentsGuide me back out of the darkness. Hold my hand as the things get better in my life.
As my sad horrible red sad face goes back to the green happy face again.
hold my hand
be with me
pray for me
thank you1 Recommendation3 CommentsI had a great day today. I got a slice of pizza and put red pepper on it. Yummy and then I got a Frapachino at Starbucks. Yummy again and lots of fun. Starbucks is having half off of all their drinks from 3:00 to 5:00 p.m. everyday. I am not sure when it ends, I think in the next 7 days but I am not sure. Then we got some things for the week whi...1 Recommendation2 CommentsI hate mondays, it just means there is a whole week of fucking work ahead of me. It really sucks1 Recommendation2 Comments
