Loneliness Support Group

I can' tell you how well I relate to this.

The exact same thing with my friends.

Whenever they need any support, even on much smaller issues, I *never* let a whole week go by without checking on them. And in a crisis? I'd call every day -- and they were very glad I did.

But if I have a crisis? One call, if I'm lucky!

My mom, my therapist, and even some friends have told me that I am too giving. (How sad. I was just doing what came naturally!) and that if I'm continuously disappointed by my friends, I simply need to start giving less.

I have been forcing myself to do that. Little things. For example, instead of calling a friend to see how she's doing, just sending her an e-mail saying "call me if you need to talk."

I hate doing that, but I think it's necessary.

Not that that's gotten me more supportive friends. But I do think, things being what they are, I need to scale back.

I'm sorry you are in this situation. I know how disappointing, and downright infuriating it can feel.

I never felt that I was going overboard in my giving. I really felt that's simply what friends do.

But when you're the only one being that supportive, it's simply not sustainable.

Again, I am sorry. It really stinks, and I know how it feels.

Hugs to you.

Yeah well, we are not perfect and if you NEED your friends tell them! I know when I am feeling i need my buddy... I'll call and talk. Sometimes other people are wrapped up in their own life and just kinda forget until it is too late!

Hey hun it sucks what you have been through and then got no support. I do agree with someone when they say sometimes you have to call them but im with you on this, especially what happened, its not like you broke a nail or something. Its hard and I reckon if that happened to your friend you would texting regularly, sorry you have to go through this, glad you could get it out. Know that I care. BIG HUGS.....

I am so sorry that you are going through this...it is bad enough to be in the situation you are in, but to not have the support you need from your friends is just awful.

One thing I've found in my life is that during different times where I've been in "crisis" (usually a break up or major relationship problem), I've relied on my friends too much.

I would bend their ear all the time and it was a constant drain on them I think. Even though I would be there for them, they just weren't strong enough to deal with it. I'm not sure if this is what your friends may be going through, but sometimes it is just too much and the "friendship" just seems unbalanced. Even though you completely, legitimately need them (and they should be there for you), perhaps it has just been one time too many and they can't deal with what they consider drama (even though it is not drama).

I've lost a few friends over this (I believe) and it is the most painful thing...but I have learned from it.

I think you need to get rid of this man once and for all and focus on YOU....if these friends aren't there for you later that is ok -you will be fine....it will be time to have a fresh start with a new life and new friends.

Everything here is unhealthy for you and you deserve so much more. Life is so short -don't waste your time on negative things....

I know you are caught in the middle now and it is extremely painful, but you need to completely remove yourself from all of this and find a new way of life that involves peace and happiness.

I'm here if you need me. Just trying to be as candid as possible -don't want to sugar coat what I think is happening.

As usual thanks so much for the feedback guys. It really helps me to cope, especially when I can feel the geniune concern.
I must say I've def not overworn my welcome by burdening my friends w/my problems bc for the longest time I hid what I was going through. Also one of the friends I'm, referring to dated an alcoholic and the other has gotten back w/her sex addict boyfriend for about the 14th time in 2 years due to his chronic cheating-I'm serious. And I've been there for both of them. These are successful beautiful & intelligent women so u think they's have a little more empathy. But the realilty is people are inherently selfish even when they don't mean to be so I'll just have scale back how much I give to certain people but I'm not going to change. I believe in being avaialable for your friends within reason-the right ones anyway.
Thanks again guys,
xoxoxo

i believe that friends should be there when u need them the most,if they r not there and u r in deep s... alone,well i am sorry but i cant call them "my friends" just a bunch of acquaintance!

u seems to me like a very brave and strong person,and u deserve the best!

being beautiful and smart doesnt make them compassionate and caring, or a true friend either. obviously they are to involved in their own world to give much to anyone, but themselves. pple are selfish, but if roles were reversed they would be expecting support from you, and would most likely be angery at the same amount given to you. personally i wouldnt be bothering with pple like that.

yeah thats what good friends do, go out of their way for each other. thats what true friendship is all about. but not much of that left.

sad you had your feelings hurt, happened so much to me with so called friends and family, i feel like the fire hydrant in the park. when they come calling because their lives have sprung a leak, give back accordingly to what you received.

It doesn't sound to me though that your friends are in a healthy place at all. I'm not saying that when things are bad for your friends that you need to jump ship either, but I find it interesting for some reason....

It just all sounds so complicated and negative....I'm thinking it can't be good to be around all the time (on top of what you are going through).

Healinslowly, thats my whole point these women have been through their own trauma & definitely know what it is to need support when in an unhealthy relationship which is why I'm disapointed in their lack of concern when I've been there for them... but hey the more I read from you guys & think about it myself it is what it is, people will disappoint you everytime. Doesn't mean they're bad people they're just not the friends for me I thought they were..it hurts but I just have to try to remain positive, surround myself w/support & other positive people...they're out there ;)

I am glad you can find others to support you even if your "best" friends can't do it. It seems to me that sensitive people are the ones who tend to feel lonely because we are so aware of the lack of connection in our lives and the ways in which we try so hard to be there for others despite the fact that they seem not to be around for us.

I do not doubt that lonely and depressed people are difficult at times for our friends to deal with. We can hurt so profoundly that it causes our friends to both fear what we might do and also to feel helpless to make us feel better. But feel free to contact me if you're needing some support. I hope someday I will be able to get the same :)

Steve