Loneliness Support Group

Hi, my name is Cameron.. I don't want to bore you guys by writing a book but I would like to at least tell you a little about myself. From my profile you can see I'm 25 and I've been with my girlfriend for close to 5yrs now, but what it doesn't say is how alone I feel. I come from a very small family (which doesn't get along at all), and I'm the youngest of my immediate family. I grew up in a house of 5 which included my Grandparents, my Mom and my Uncle (Mom's brother). My Uncle had a severe drug problem, and my Mom was always fighting with my Grandparents to notice the problem.. which led to big arguments which eventually got us kicked out of their house when I was 17. My Uncle and I have little to no relationship, the little we do have is when we are physically fighting each other and the No would be when we don't talk. But he's such a big part of my life because he was the father I never had despite his bad drug habits. He made me the walking encyclopedia of sports that I am today lol, but his habit always slammed the door on a real "father/son" type of relationship. Over the past 8yrs my Mom, my Grandparents and myself have all re-established a relationship. My Mom and I have always been beyond close, but my Grandparents always played favorites; with my Uncle being the perfect child and could never do any wrong despite his obvious shortcomings which were never acknowledged by them. My Grandparents are still very "sometimey" with my Mom and I, besides putting us out on the street, they've done other uncharacteristic things you wouldn't expect from a lovable Grandparent or Parent. This past Christmas we invited them over for a big dinner which my Mom, my Girlfriend and I had all prepared. The previous night was supposed to be a Christmas eve party at their house (we live about 20min away from each other) which we were late for because we were trying to get last minute gifts to participate in the Stocking Stuffer festivities of the night. My Grandmother was upset, but we couldn't tell her until after Christmas why we were no more than 45min late. Well, out of retaliation for us being late on Christmas eve, she and my Grandfather decide to no show our Christmas dinner without even notifying us. Then actually came out our way but never stopped by our house, instead they diverted to the Philadelphia Racetrack Casino and went home. We didn't find out they were even in our area until days later. But that's an example of how my family is. I met an amazing girl 4yrs ago and I've been with her since. She's so nice, maybe too nice to me. I've been beyond faithful to her, she deserves that much for the type of person she is.. but I believe I depend on her too much! Believe it or not, my girlfriend and I have almost nothing in common.. we definitely don't have similar senses of humor, she isn't much of a historian or aware of current events and she's a very busy person (school, work, family, ect...). Recently my mother and I have hit the roughest patch I could have ever imagined, she's stressed.. I'm stressed and she's done things to me that are similar to how my Grandparents have done her in the past, but even more extreme if believable. My Girlfriend has become all I have, I need her like land needs the sea.. but she's away in college. I've alienated myself from all my past friends because I didn't think I could have a successful relationship doing all the wild things I was doing up to that point. So now here I am, alone writing this message. All I ever wanted was to have big family and friend parties and laughing and just having a good time. I don't have the family or friends to pull that off and it just depresses me so bad that this is the extent of my life. My nature is so unlike that of my family's. I want to invite others to share in festivities and holidays with me and also BE invited to share with others. Growing up I never experienced that, but I want to experience it now and I'm hoping that this site can help me find good natured people who are similar in need. Thank you so much.
Posted on 10/31/09, 05:10 pm