Life After Divorce Support Group

I can only share my experience. I had a short relationship with a woman while I was going through the process of divorce. It was a pure rebound. When that ended, two or three months later another woman entered my life unbidden and we got into a serious relationship. The relationship could not have worked from the start. We had seven months together, filled with love and happiness. When we had to split up, and it was mutual, with no cheating, I went through intense emotional trauma. That is, I hurt so badly. So, my advice would be, be careful that if things don't work out, that you don't leave yourself open for intense emotional pain all over again. But of course, when it was me, I wasn't into hearing that.

It's not a problem I've ever had to contend with. It was 10 years from my first divorce until another woman would agree to be seen with me. I'm now a year out of her having left without a prospect in sight. They don't appear and if I pursue they seem mortified, can't get away fast enough. Something about me is not suitable for companionship. May just have to accept that it's going to be me and dogs from here on out. It's really the most difficult thing for me to contend with.

I believe you have answered your own question by having all his doubt and tormenting yourself with your insecurities towards this relationship. Maybe you are not ready for such an intense relationship and need to step back and deal with your feelings. I would say trust your gut feelings on this one. I wish you well.

Be careful. I tried it and it crashed and burned. Met someone (actually someone I knew from years ago so got reaquainted). Thought it was love, was going thru the divorce.........anyway, 10 months later I'm living in his house, tried to have a relationship, but my issues keep coming up and getting in the way.
I try and explain that I'm healing, and he keeps saying, "but you're driving me insane......if you don't get over this I can't have a normal relationship with you." So I broke up with him. I need time to heal.

It was a fun rebound, and hoping we can still be friends, but I cannot move on until I heal my heart. or whatever.

just be careful - endorphin rushes can be confused as love.

P.S. Everything you described sounded like me and my rebound relationship in the beginning. I thought he was my knight in shining armor. When you're starved for love, that can happen. Anyway, that's how it happened for me.

My relationships after the divorce seemed like a distraction from the pain I was suffering from the divorce. They say the only way out of the pain is through....I don't know if I have gotten there yet even. I still have big time trust issues.

I've only been divorce for a little over a year after a nine year marriage. I never cheated on my wife during the marriage, during the divorce and I've taken this time to truly "go through" the pain. What I think many people don't realize is that freedom comes within. You must learn to truly be with yourself. You will find that there are many issues you must face and breakdown to find yourself again. The walls were built to protect yourself, so be kind to yourself. The easiest thing to do is to run to another one's arms to not have to face yourself, your inner emotions and inner workings. When you learn to break down all those walls and face yourself honestly, you will find the freedom within yourself to truly move forward in your life. So many people on this website are already with someone else before they divorce. They are looking outward constantly, they are looking outside all around themselves and staying in constant motion. They do this to avoid their own walls to themselves they have built. Those they have run to will find themselves being hurt because they can't get through the walls of your heart when you wouldn't even go there yourself. Hence, that is why these "rebound" relationships are almost always doomed to fail, propogating your pain to others. The right path is almost always the hard one. If you stop, stay quiet and truly think about what you need to do to move forward, you will see your fears. These fears are the emotional walls you have built up to protect yourself. Know that no one will ever be able to know your heart and become one with it unless you first can open your heart to yourself. God Bless and best of luck in your journey to happiness. Happiness and contentment is something we all deserve, but we need to earn that after the hurt of a divorce and it's no picnic to get to that point.

I am with you minx... crazy about my bf and he about me...

I have a fear that the same thing will happen here as broke up my marriage (husb lies and infidelity) but I am not sure that will ever go away. I also have a fear that he is nice now and will turn cranky and sour on me like the ex did. I am not jealous or possessive with him though like I can see from others.

We talk a lot about our relationship and that is a good thing. We have made plans far out into the future - and we feel permanent to each other. I also know that I need to maintain myself in the relationship and not do everything for everyone like I did before.

I sure hope this does not crash and burn like TSand mentioned. And - like TSand said - I do not want to hear it cause this feels so 'true love'.

If things ended tomorrow - I'd be so glad for the time he and I had together. I did not know I could feel this strongly for a man and I have deep respect for him. It is not disfunctional at all. I am not giving anything up and neither is he. We are gaining each other.

Good luck with yours and please wish me the same with mine.

I have had the same questions. I was in a marriage for about 6 years. We had more arguments then good times if I really think of it. I think I knew deep down inside it oculd end but didnt want it to happen and felt he never leave me because he loved me so much. But he left. I dont have any real closure but dealing with it. I did meet someone new and he is great. It is it a rebound I hope not. My counselor says just enjoy it and let things happen. I not rushing into anything. I love to be marriaed again one day, but not sure I shoud go though that. I get caught up in thinmking what would happen if he came back. I have not seen him in almost two years. I saw his pic the other day and really didnt feel or react lik e I thought. I just need to move on and hopefully find happiness.

Good luck

I know I couldn't date while I was going through this. I didn't want this divorce and it brought me to my knees after a 30 year marriage. I've been divorced for 6 months now but I want to sell the family home and be in my own place before I get into a new relationship. I'm not looking for marriage but would like to find a good companion some day.

Take your time and heal your heart.