What is Lesbian Relationship Challenges
This community is dedicated to the relationship challenges that lesbian women face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). ...
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it just cant stay easy can it?
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i know that this is supposed to be for relationship issues for all of us lesbians but right now my issue isnt in a lesbian relationship. its with my family. i recently moved to california, leaving one side of the family to be with the other side. and now all of a sudden all the women on my moms side are doing nothing but talking about how im cutting them all out of my life in favor of my dads side, and how im going to be miserable in a big christian family because im gay and theyre only out to convert me and teach me the "right" ways. i just dont know how to deal with this, i dont know how to stay okay when it feels like one side of my family is pitting itself against the other and im hopelessly stuck in the crossfire and im being hurt by this and no one sees it. the paternity test was supposed to put everyones minds at ease, it was supposed to help everyone but instead all it did was flip everyone out and make them think that im leaving them. they keep accusing me of writing them off but im not, and im to the point that i almost WANT to write them off, like 'okay your going to tell me im being bad and irresponsible and i dont care about you and im writing you off, then fine i will do all of that and then youll see what i was really doing and itll be too late to fix it.' i dont like that i cant go to bed because thats when i have time to think and when i think i cry, and i dont like not being able to forgive because theres constantly a new wrong. i dont like this and i cant fix it and i really dont know what to do. i feel isolated and i cant function.
Posted on 11/04/09, 04:11 pm |
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omg i know exactly how you feel. both of my familes have remarried and now they constantly fight over who gets me when dude fuck off i am 17 screw you i do what i want. this is the crazy part this group isn't just for relationships it is for whatever you need talk it out. Just make yourself happy i just learned to tell them like it is then screw the rest of them. i am my own person so they just need to except that i am happy with my descision and get over it. that is what i would do i hope this helps.
Love You Bre 
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Hey this sounds like my family! lol.
Just keep in mind that what they are angry about or the lies (or truths) that they tell on one another is NOT YOUR PROBLEM. Stay out of it. Nod and smile politely, then disregard. Their opinions do not have to be your opinions. Your goal is to find what makes you happy. That is no one else's business than your own. Just tell them directly, "I'm sorry you feel that I'm cutting you out of my life, that was not my intention. What is it I can do to help you not feel like that?" And when they say, "Move back here." You get you say, "No, I'm sorry, I can't do that. I feel that this is the place I need to be now and I need you to respect that. Is there anything else I can do?" What you are doing is reconstructing your relationship with them, they are so used to you being there all the time and now you're just not. It's freaking them out. Tell them the truth, even if they don't quite understand it. "I love both sides of the family equally and I cannot be in two places at once. Right now, I'm here in Cali and that's is where I'm staying for the time being." I guess the most important part is to let them duke it out themselves. They may be fighting over the concept of you, but you have nothing to do with it. Hope that helps, Owl
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thanks for all the help :) i think i made myself sick with stress so im boycotting my phone and email for the next few days. mom and dad got into a huge fight last night so they pretty much are duking it out without me, which is fine. but my mom is pretty set in her opinions so well see how it goes. thanks for all, its truly appreciated.
love to both of you J
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