What is Lesbian Relationship Challenges
This community is dedicated to the relationship challenges that lesbian women face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). ...
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My gf and i are in a relationship that started wrong. She was with another girl and i "stole" her away. She said she was unhappy and that she wanted to leave and i gave her encouragments and what not. Like a week later she asks me out and i really like her so i say sure. We started dating. Her ex also happens to be my ex as well. But her ex and i did not get off on the right foot at all. I hate her. No other way to describe it. But my gf and her ex are like the best of friends now. Whenever we get into an argument or ANYTHING she will tell her ex and her ex will txt me some negative feedback that gives me that feeling like im losing her. So i dont tell my gf any of my feelings anymore cause they seem to be the ones that start a fight. Now im stuck between wanting to keep a sold relationship with the woman i love and fighting back my feelings that just want to pour out. Please Help.
Posted on 11/04/09, 08:11 am |
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Okay...first things first...this is what happens when you get involved with a woman who is in a relationship.
Second, you hate your ex (let's call her D) and you encouraged your girlfriend to leave D. Not exactly unbiased were you? The first thing I would do is talk to your girlfriend and tell her that things that happen between you and her are private. Having her tell D all about them, and then having D text you about it is making you very uncomfortable. There is a saying...you made your bed...now you have to lay in it. But communication can work wonders if done properly. If you withhold your emotions and feelings, it is going to hurt your relationship with your gf. You need to work on this issue of her telling everything to D. And frankly, if she's not willing to stop, then you need to think about getting out. It's never going to make you happy, and it sounds more like a relationship with three people than two. Talk to your gf. That's the only thing you can do. And ask D to stop texting you. Tell her that it's costing you money...and you aren't really interested in whatever she has to say. Good luck. 
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I don't think I could have said it any better myself, Devon.
You can't have a working relationship if you can't talk to each other. And in my opinion it is really hard to stay friends with ex's, especially so soon after a break up. The ex may be trying to do the same thing you did, trying to get her to leave you to come back to her. And the gf, doesn't sound like a) she really knows what she wants or b) likes to feel wanted and the drama that comes along with having 2 people "fight" for her. I could be wrong, but I think a very frank discussion with her is in order and yeah, you need to tell the ex to back off and stop texting you.
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