What is Jealousy
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not...
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What is a counselor supposed to do??
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Is a counselor supposed to help you believe that lusting another woman is okay and normal and you should be okay with it? Is a counselor supposed to help your brain think that tv should be allowed to show sexuality as a part of the everyday world? Is a counselor supposed to help you accept that sex sells and our partners can look at other woman as sexual beings? HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO CHANGE MY THINKING ON SOMETHING I KNOW IS WRONG??? AND MAKES ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF????? YOU KNOW.... MY HUSBAND IS CURRENTLY NOT WITH ME AND PLANS TO LEAVE ME.... BECAUSE OF THESE ISSUES I HAVE AND NOT WANTING TO GO GET HELP.... What help can I get huh?? I am supposed to accept the way this FUCKIN world is?????? I think the world is better with out me. And I wonder... does my husband enjoy not being with me???? I mean he can watch what ever he wants without someone nagging..... he can go places without nagging.... do you think he misses me more or if he was with me he misses the tv and movies and going out in public more... without nagging???????? Sorry for the rant but I can't be alone. I need to do something FAST
Posted on 10/29/09, 09:10 pm |
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a counsellor listens, they ask questions, they make you dig deep within yourself and they help you to work out why you feel the way you do. they will help you come to terms with your issues, they will help you be more at peace with yourself, they will help you find ways of coping with your issues.
they will not brainwash you into thinking that porn is ok, we are all entitled to believe in what we believe in. NO amount of counselling is going to fix me so that my partner can watch porn, it doesnt work that way. what the counselling will do is when you watch a film and a there's a topless women you wasnt expecting, it wont make you feel its the end of the world, and you wont be obsessing about it for days, you wont like it at the time, but it wont fill you with self hate for yourself or the world. Wouldnt that be good, to accept you dont like something, but not have it rule your world. I dont like Brussels spouts or cabbage but i dont freak out when i see some on the tv or in the supermarket! 
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Hi Drowning,
Miss Green is right - a counselor helps you deal with the things in society that you can't change, but porn and other areas that you don't have to accept shouldn't be part of that equation. The world is not better without you. But it is better with a happy you. And of course your husband enjoys being with you, but not like this. Try thinking of it from his point of vire, but keep in mind that you DO need help, you can't do this alone. So you can try and see his point, at the same time he has to see yours as well but he has to see you trying to get help. You have to do this with babysteps. I made a list of all of the "scary" things that I don't do anymore, and I listed them in order from not-so-scary to deathly scary. Little things like leaving the house when he is home. Or grocery shopping on my own. Or going to coffee with a friend. And one by one, I am trying to get through that list. Baby steps drowning, that's all. You have to give yourself credit for the small things..write down EVERYDAY what you are acknowledging yourself for. So, one day you might write "I acknowledge myself for not cutting today" or "I acknowledge myself for going my appt while hubby was home". Pretty soon you will have a looooong list of all of your accomplishments. This is something you can look at all the time to remind you that you should be proud. I know you can do this. I know you are in a bad place right now, but you WILL come out of it, and you CAN do this.
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