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Penis Pee envy rant!
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Sorry everyone this is just a massive rant as I have to LET THIS OUT!!!! MEN and their PENISES and their AAAAARRRGGGHHH!

I don't ever wish I had a penis except when it comes to answering the call of nature when we're traveling away from home! I wish I could just whip it out whenever I feel the need! And I wish he wouldn't demonstrate SO OFTEN that he can! If he needs to go and there's no toilet nearby he just looks around, finds somewhere fairly out of sight and lets rip! He's got Old Man's Bladder and gets caught short but sometimes I think he just doesn't even TRY to hang on! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Today we had to go somewhere, it was a 3 hour car journey (only 2 hrs the fastest route but he likes going this way!)
We parked next to the beach before the journey back. A few hotels lined the road. Not many people on the beach.
He'd walked the dog and we were preparing to come home, I was sitting in the car, he was trying to get the dog back in the car when he said that he needed a pee.
It was OBVIOUS we'd be finding a toilet straight away for BOTH OF US before a 3 hour journey so I ignored him! Surely he'd wait a few minutes, the dining room in one hotel was half full of people! Just hang on like I do!!! Like I had to hang on for over half an hour last time on this journey!
The dog was messing about, wasting time dithering around near the car and after a couple of minutes he gave up on the dog and started putting stuff away behind me in the car.
I heard him empty a bit of water onto the grass from the dog's water bottle and then I heard a bit of water running. Just a bit, not for long! It couldn't have been him peeing, it wasn't that much!
When he got into the car I said there's no public toilets round here and he said he'd just been!!!!! So he HAD been standing right behind me by the car peeing into the dog's water bottle! Right behind my HEAD!!!!!!! Right by my f****** EAR!!!!!!!!!
So I said "Well thanks a lot, you're ok, what about ME" and snapped at him that I wasn't waiting over half an hour like I had last time on this journey back! He said he'd find one for me. He drove around and there was one barely 5 minutes away! He could easily have waited! So I took A-G-E-S in there just to SHOW him! Lmao!
This isn't gonna happen again! I'm gonna carry a female bottle thingy in the car!
Next time we go anywhere I'm gonna fill myself up with drinks before the journey and make him stop at EVERY toilet on the journey! And if there aren't any I'm gonna make him stop the car by the road while I rest my fat arse on the ledge of his car door and I'll pee onto the verge! And if it's a no stopping road I'll use my lady bottle IN THE F****** CAR!

Rant over
Posted on 04/04/13, 04:48 pm
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Reply #1 - 04/06/13  11:47am
" Lol, ok, giggles over, is this a new thing or has he always been like this as long as youve known him? Cos on the serious side, he could have a medical condition, i would suggest he gets that checked! "
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Reply #2 - 04/06/13  4:04pm
" Hi, yeah, he's 65 and has regular check ups, nothing suspicious going on, just the usual changes to the prostate that older guys get apparently
Must be annoying really, he says that even just walking the dog for an hour he's having to make 'pit stops' more often, especially if it's cold weather
It irritates the hell out of him that he has to ration what he drinks if he's going out anywhere and that drinks seem to go straight through him (he doesn't drink alcohol - God knows what he'd be like if he did lol! "
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Reply #3 - 04/07/13  11:36am
" Oh.. well now you've said his age that does sound more reasonable. Glad he's been checked tho. "

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