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Racist Family
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Alright, so I'm white and I'm newly dating a black man. We are both 21, and I've been friends with him since the second grade. My family is in an uproar because he's black. My Grandma keeps saying that my dead Grandpa would be ashamed.
My Dad says he doesn't believe in it and my Mom, otherwise supportive, said today that "Black men impregnate women then refuse to take care of the child." First of all, the guy I'm dating isn't one of these ignorant thug ass wanna-be's. He's very classy, extremely intelligent and probably the most romantic man I've ever met. I've never had a man say such sweet things to me, or even treat me the way he has. He's my best friend and it's hurting me so bad that my family has the audacity to say such ate up things. What pisses me off even more is that his parents haven't even mentioned my race! It's humiliating that my family has proven themselves to be ignorant rednecks. It makes me look bad and I'm very hurt. Posted on 09/18/09, 08:09 pm |
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sorry to hear that
my situation is reversed in that my lady- her family is better with me than vise versa for her (her family is white/native) so buck up dear!!! u are one of us- i always use these opportunities to teach and to let them know what i think. but of course my lady is just now finding out how racist her parents are- and it hurts her- (i already know mine is)- i said it hurts so- cause you are shocked- still are- why are u shocked? is what i say to her- gets one to thinking..... 
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I guess I'm shocked because I grew up in a generation that knew very little about -REAL- racism. The dispute of skin color is really foreign to me, and as an adult I'm experiencing something I grew up hearing about. It's not that I thought racial prejudices were old historical myths...it's just I can't grasp the concept of it. Not to mention I cannot understand how some people are that ignorant.
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lived in hawaii for over 16 years I didn't notice a much of a problem with race- religion- same sex-long hair...-where I live now its red neck country. Its strange
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Red,
I'm 64 and grew up when racism WAS a real hot issue and I have never been able to understand it...it's one of those things that make my mind hurt when I try to understand how people can think like that and act like that....never has made a lick of sense to me and never will. HOney I'm sorry your family has proven themselves to be such jerks but you are NOT them. Since you know how they talk and think avoid them as much as possible and spend your time with people who are not so ignorant, like your wonderful guy. Sometimes life forces us to create new "family", ones of our hearts and not of our blood. Good luck with your relationship, if he's as great as you say then he's worth doing whatever you have to to make things work.
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My family had a lot of stereotypes in their heads when I started dating my boyfriend (he's indian I'm white) but I first of all told them what's actually up and killed a lot of their ignorance, and then they got to know him too. It's been 2 years now and things just seem very normal. Both of my grandfathers were alive when we started dating and they had that "uuuulchhh" tone about it when they found out he was indian, they never met him, and I wish that they had gotten to because I would have loved them to love him.
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Red, I feel ya.
I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years. We have 3 kids together. He's black. I'm white. I get more shit from my mother than anyone else. Granted, she'll never outright say that she dislikes him because he's black. At least she'll never say it to me. However, I've heard it from siblings and other family members, how she really feels. It bothers me. But just don't let your family rule who you date. If you're happy, and he's happy, then leave it at that. Don't allow what they say or how they feel dictate your relationship. If you do, it'll never last.
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