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Ok so I've been dating my boyfriend for a year now and it's an online relationship and I've been upset about a few things these past few weeks because all we do is talk online, and he seems to be fine with that, but I really want more out of our relationship. He's had my number for MONTHS now and he still hasn't called. I don't know why, but it really bothers me. And a few months ago I sent him a few gifts in the mail and he hasn't thanked me for them, he just said he liked them, but no "thank you".
So during the beginning of June I went to see my cousin and I got to meet one of her friends and he's a really nice guy and we started talking and stuff and he started liking me. But I don't like him in that way, cause I love my boyfriend, but my cousin's friend ended up driving 12 HOURS to come and see me for a few days, I didn't ask him to, he just did it. So the first day all we did was see a movie, walk around the mall, and go to dinner, and then I just dropped him off at his hotel. So the next day, I go to his hotel cause we're gonna make bead bracelets. So I get there at 11 AM and I don't leave until 4 AM. We didn't have sex, we didn't even make out, but he wanted to. He knows I have a boyfriend, that's pretty much all I was talking about while I was with him. We ended up just laying on his bed and I fell asleep for about an hour. Then later that day we were laying on the bed again and he started to rub my back, and honestly, it felt really nice. Then he actually lifted up my shirt to rub my back and at first I was hesitant, but it really felt nice. And I just kept going on and on about how I don't want to feel bad about cheating on my boyfriend. And while he was rubbing my back, he wrapped his leg around me and he said he really really wanted to make out, but I ended up leaving like 30 minutes after that. And I've never been in this position before, I've never had a guy want me or throw himself at me, and I don't know how to handle it. It feels weird, like I really liked the back rub, but I shouldn't have been there in the first place. I love my boyfriend, but I really do need that physical attention. I haven't told my boyfriend about what happened, he doesn't even know the guy came to see me. Posted on 07/31/09, 11:07 pm |
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With all the guys in the world why have you spent a whole year with someone who isn't really there? "Dating" online with no physical contact and from what you've said not a whole lot of emotional support is not my idea of being in a relationship but it does seem like a pretty good way to avoid all the messy stuff that real relationships involve.
I do know several people who have met their mates online but they were not content to keep it at that level, they moved into the real world. It looks like you might be ready for that but it sure isn't sounding like he is. When all you know about someone is what they've told you online you can't really know them and if you can't really know them all you can love is your idea of them, not the real them. I think you need to be asking yourself why you are settling for this. 
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I can understand your dilemma. On one hand you have this hot online live affair that's been going on for a year, but on the other hand you have this 4 hr romp with a hot guy. I'd take my chances with the hot guy. No only can you see him, you can touch him. Instead of using your fingers to type sexy messages to your online man, use your keystrokes on the new guy. I know you've developed "feelings" for the online guy, but he's not real. You might ass well have an imaginary friend.
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I agree with them, you never get to know the real person behind the words until you are live. I got once like that, we kept in touch, long distance and like you he never seemed interested to pursue it any further. I was willing to relocate 12hrs away from where I lived just to be with him but he kept making up excuses. Then I found out that while I was waiting on him he had moved in with another girl. I was not that disappointed when I found out, I guess I sort of saw it coming but trust me, if he is not responding there's probably more to him than what he is not telling you. And don't feel bad for hanging out with someone else. That's how I met my husband now. I was in that long distance relationship while I met my husband. He just asked me out to dinner and walks and told me he how he felt for me. So I told my online boyfriend that I could not wait on him forever so I was letting him go because I wanted a true relationship. And I'm glad I moved on, so think about it really hard. Trust your intuition, if it doesn't feel right then there's more to it.
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