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Does anyone think this is normal??
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I've been dating this guy for over a month now... He is nice and all and we are attracted to each other. We have chemistry and have things in common. The thing is though when we are together its either I'm at his place or we go to his bars. Its the same old stuff every week. Once in awhile I would like to break the monotony up. Have him come over.... Make him dinner ... etc etc... I've even invited him to come out and hang out w/ my friend's nothing. I know its still early in the relationship but should these all be warning signs? Also the majority of our dates we've gone dutch.... Its sad I really don't have much dating experience but in the past I've had guys... open doors for me... and pay for dinner... little things like that... I appreciated it all... but now I get none of that w/ my current boyfriend... The thing is he was the one so into having a relationship w/ me. He hunted me down. Do you think he thinks what he is doing is normal or is he really not that interested in me. Yes we also have an intimate relationship but it doesn't revolve around that nor is it a booty call type of thing. If it was I would have ended it already. I just need some opinions.
Just some other BG info: I'm 1 yr 1/2 older than him... Also I tend to date older guys and most of the time I've meet guys thru the internet. This is the first time I actually met someone interested in me in real life first. I was married to my first love... hence why i don't have much dating experience. I tend to be a hopeless romantic too but in this situation its caused me to hold back.... I just need some advice... I want to know if anyone went thru this before... are there any opinions on my situation... thanks for reading my post :) Just a few more notes: I realized he never really ever does small talk. ie "How are you?" or "How was your day?". I always ask so we always end up talking about him and when I want to say something I can't get a word in edgewise or by the time his finish I forget what I'm going to say lol. At times he seems narcissistic. Its like "Hello!!! I have problems too". I don't want to say he doesn't care. The first thing out of his friend's mouths are he is sweet and caring. Maybe to them but I'm still waiting.... Posted on 09/18/09, 03:09 am |
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duh- you know what is going on- u know how u feel
if u are really into this relationship- tell him- he won't let u talk? he won't listen? take a walk bud- when u are ready to listen/talk, u know where i be- is what i would say to him the boody ain't all that is it? 
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Hi,
It might be warning signs fromwhat your are descrbing and the way in which you do it. I didnt catch how long you have been seeing eachother, but i reallythink that being completing honestand straigh forward is the key. If you can't be real blunt and say you know it would be sweet if you would come over and let me make dinner for you,are hey wanna grab the door, sucka if he ain't getting it. My bf and I have been together 3 years and he was cold to say the least, and i am a really passionate person. So I hated to bare my sould and hear crickets. You have to demandfor what you want and deserve,dont settle or hold back. Give the relationship some time, and i am generally attractedto older people, just because history proves that I mentally connect better but I dont have a preference. go be a cougar girl! Meow!
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I would say that you two don't seem to be a very good match, not sure if he is really into you but one of those type men who just doesn't know how to treat a women or if he is only interested in you as a booty call but not being up front about it.
The big thing is relationships take work, they take two people to make them happen and when one person is doing all the giving it's not a real relationship and the one is always going to feel less then satisfied. Actualy your relationship sounds a lot like what my daughter is going through right now with her guy. He tells her and everyone he knows that he loves her but then never really shows it by his actions and she is always frustrated because he demands so much more then he is willing to give.... On the age difference, from my experience it seems to matter more to women then to men, I mean women tend to be more self conscious about it and how they may look to the guy or others then the men do. If the guy is really into you he normaly won't even notice or care. My husband is eight years younger then me and we're heading toward the thiry year mark, and before him I dated many guys who were even younger then he was. I just had the wide interests and was so hyper the "old" guys my age couldn't keep up, LOL I'd also like to say that being able to talk and be heard is very important...most guys are not geared like women when it comes to the need to talk and some that are tend to only want to talk about themselves but if being able to have a conversation or tell him about your day and what is going on in your life is important then make sure you get that. If he really cares he'll understand and if he doesn't he isn't worth your time.
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